Day 2 without masturbation. No P, M or edging since 4/17/25. Going for a year. No word from new AP, old AP or another person that I reached out to. Moderately optimistic that I’ll hear from the new AP eventually.
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VERY strong urges. It’s tempting to M and reset. And it’s a tricky day (home alone) but … there will be more days like this, more urges, more struggles. If I am to get through those days, I need to get through THIS day. DAY ONE. One day at a time. This too shall pass.
RELAPSED. Today is day one. What happened last night might have been only a quarter slip with M, but it was a FULL relapse with P.
I was looking for help with M and found a website / app that looked promising … found porn on there. I went down the rabbit hole. Looked at P until it was hardly doing anything for me. Kept looking. Then touched for 1 second, lost it and ejaculated … a little.
Day 20 without masturbation. Tomorrow might be my first “normal” day. Abnormal days can be tricky, stressful. Normal days can also be tricky. More nervous about the first normal day than today.
Day 19 without masturbation. Yesterday was a very hard day with urges, stress and discomfort. Cold shower helped. Started today with another. Hopefully today will be easier and more productive.
Just took a very cold shower. Party masochistic, but also good for me.
Being sick is one of the hardest things for us. Nothing to do but fantasize and seek distractions from how awful we feel. Luckily my Migraine has passed, without M but I got a quick reminder of how easily and quickly the urges can overcome me.
Day 18 without masturbation. Horrible migraine right now. Been out of commission for two hours and this is not a good time for that.
Day 17 without masturbation. 2 1/2 weeks. Aiming for 100+ maybe even 200+ or more. The only way to get there is one day at a time.
Day 16 without masturbation. Very grateful for my AP and optimistic about the days and weeks ahead.
Day 15 without masturbation.
Day 14 without masturbation. A fortnight! In a hotel and got very triggered hearing people having sex :/
Day 13 without masturbation. Lucky 13 …
Urges hitting hard today. Not from negative stress, but from eustress and excitement.
Day 12 without masturbation. Feeling optimistic.
Day 11 without masturbation. Doing well. Lots of stress but facing my challenges and feeling good for doing so. And … SUPER grateful for my new AP
Day 10 without masturbation. I feel SO much better having someone to be accountable with
Day 9 without masturbation. Had sex with my wife last night - that’s positive but this time something unnerving happened. I will probably write about it in the relationship forum.
Day 8 without masturbation. Feeling very optimistic today and hoping that I may have found a new AP! -
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