I was watching a documentary on a guy who is dwarf and has no hands and legs. He has gone from suicidal to becoming very successful. If he can do it then why can't you ? I read, your post and trust me I COULD RELATE to everything you said. All I can say is bro don't give up no matter what. Change how you view your life and try to help others and live.
Hello Demonslayer- If you are feeling down at the moment and are thinking about hurting yourself, please, please reach out and talk to someone, a family member, a Doctor, someone you trust! You will be very loved by family and missed! Please talk! There are contact numbers/helplines if you need them? for people you can chat to confidentially.