I relapsed today. Here's a list of the bullshit we tend to tell ourselves before we relapse, and why it's bullshit.
1.) I'll just P without the MO!
No, you won't. You'll just P for 4 hours straight until you finally can't resist touching the bulge in your shorts. Voila, relapse.
2.) I'll just see what's new...
There's nothing new. Nothing. "Oh, look, it's shot from a slightly different angle." "Wow, that girl has BROWN hair instead of blonde!" "Wow, that guy's dick is big!"
There is literally NOTHING new. Nothing worth any of your time.
3.) But I need to jerk off to get to sleep!
No, you need to exercise, stop drinking coffee after 2pm, and maybe take a sleeping aid or drink some chamomile tea. There are a lot of different ways you can get yourself tired.
4.) Hey, I've been on a long streak lately. One look/MO session can't really set me back all that far, can it?
Yes, it can. First off, there's the chaser effect, which will make it a hell of a lot harder to get back on track. Second, you know for a fact that you're going to feel like shit the whole rest of the day, at least. Third, if you start the cycle of self-hatred again after you realize that you broke your long streak, you're likely going to binge. Hard.
And honestly, binging is the only real thing that will truly require you to COMPLETELY start all over again, from square one.
5.) The urge is just too much!
Cold showers. The more you hate the cold water, the faster that urge will disappear. Stand under some truly COLD water for maybe 30 seconds, and your urges will be gone. Feeling cold for a little bit and then feeling great for hours is a lot better than feeling hot for a little bit and feeling like shit for hours. Take your pick.
6.) My goal is NoFap, not not using porn!
You are a porn addict. You masturbate TO porn. That's like an alcoholic saying "My goal is to not get drunk, not to not drink at all! I can just drink a can..."
Not everyone who does porn is a porn addict. You are. If you want to stop PMO, you have to get rid of the P first. You don't overcome a porn addiction by looking at porn.
7.) I just need to get it out of my system...
The only thing you'll be getting out of your system is your sense of productivity, confidence, energy, and focus.
8.) I'm such a loser. Who even cares?
Right now, your brain is doing whatever it can to get you to come crawling back for your fix. "Hating yourself" is literally just an excuse to keep doing porn. You don't even realize you're doing it, but subconsciously, you'll tell yourself just about ANYTHING if it will get you to watch some more porn.
Basically, your brain is throwing a tantrum so it can get what it craves. It's like a spoiled little child who's used to getting whatever it wants right away. Good parents say no to their kids and ignore the tantrums. Bad parents give into those kids' demands, and those kids grow up to be spoiled little shits with inflated senses of entitlement.
Show your brain who's boss.
9.) I just want to make sure my dick works!
Your dick works.
10.) I'll start beginning next week!"
Overweight person: "I'll start working out on January 1st for my New Year's Resolution!"
We all know how that turns out.
No, you'll start now. You've been putting things off for much of your life, and a lot of that can be attributed to you lack of motivation thanks to porn.
11.) I'll just start off slow and maybe masturbate only ____ times a month/week/day...
Alcoholic: "I'll just start off slow and maybe get drunk ____ times a month/week/day..."
Sounds like bullshit, doesn't it? That doesn't mean that relapsing twice in one month vs. twice in one week isn't progress, but if you consciously set out to do porn sometimes, you'll NEVER get rid of your addiction.
12.) I want to see how much bigger my orgasm is now that I've waited ____ days!
Yeah, your orgasm will be bigger. So will your crash down to earth afterwards when you realize that you blew your streak and that you're all alone with nothing but a screen in front of you depicting a man/woman/cartoon character/hentai/whateveryou'reinto who will never meet you and will never even know your name to keep you company.
13.) I've reached my goal of ____ days! I'm cured! I can watch porn without becoming addicted, now, right?
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If you're excited about the fact that you can "watch porn now" because you're "cured", then you aren't cured. You're still addicted. Keep at it.
14) I just watched nudity or sex scene I just failed ?
No you don't. You are not back to zero even though you watched some nudity and it excites you to do pmo don't even think about it because your brain is playing tricks making you think you have failed so you can now do pmo to make best of your faliures. It is a part of life you can stay away from nudity you are going to see some so level up fight those urges and keep movingforward. Minor faliures are part of journey don't let them destroy your progress.
15) I will do it once I won't lose my progress that much?
Yes you will lose all your progress even if you do it once. Let me tell you that after fapping once it is difficult to continue without binge it's not impossible but why even let yourself go in first place to fight a battle which you have lost. It's simple no matter what no more porn that's what you should keep in mind.
16) Don't go near pornblock?
Don't go near porn block even if you feel you have built resistance towards it don't challenge yourself because unconsciously you might relapsed so don't go near it until the reboot is over.
Well, that's about all I can think of.
Remember that you have an addiction, but your addiction is not who you are. You already have more control over yourself than you think.
Today, I relapsed because I didn't force myself to take a cold shower, but the fact remains that I could have taken one. And if I had, I wouldn't have relapsed. Period.
Keep at it, everyone.