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First of all congrats on being so self aware at such a young age. For me , i went through a phase where I'd browse escort sites almost daily, but...
I have had similar experiences . There were past partners , hookups in my life ...where the SEx was great but eventually they didn't work out....
Sex during a long term relationship is quite different from porn.... I'm married. We are happy together and love each other BUT sex is very...
I'd respectfully advise you to consider therapy. It's worth a try. It does not mean you're crazy or an addict. Consider telling your wife...
I won't comment on whether it's a relapse but for me personally, I looked at escort sites and justified that as "not porn" ...it's not hard core...