- May 14, 1998 (Age: 22)
- The Netherlands
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Fapstronaut, Male, 22, from The Netherlands
Getting screwed over by inexperienced collegues. Will have a short day tomorrow because I overworked way too much Oct 22, 2020 at 5:42 PM
- WaterNewt was last seen:
- Oct 22, 2020 at 5:41 PM
- May 14, 1998 (Age: 22)
- The Netherlands
A quick(18 years of abuse) rundown of my life:
- Journal Thread Link:
- View my Journal
My mom is addicted to alcohol since I was 5, maybe even when I was younger but I noticed it around 5 years old.
She got into fights with everyone, fell asleep infront of the tv. Forgot to cook meals for me or any housekeeping. I was never allowed to do anything to help.
When I called her out on it when I was 12 she called me fat, spoiled and a horrible person. This continued..
My grandfather was also an alcoholic and so was my grandmother. They would always have drunken fights. I really learned to hate alcohol and promised myself not to drink until 21.
I got bullied about my weight so I started to run everyday and got to a healthy level.
My grades were fine in high school but my situation with my mom only got worse. She only drank more and more. It got to a point where every month she would get into a really big fight with me over my grades. Even when I got only 8's it was never good enough. I was spoiled, lazy and horrible.
It got to a point where she would beat me and afterwards she was always 'sorry'.
She only acted like a good mom on vacations. never drank anything, actually cared about me. etc.
It dimmed down a bit around 15
When I got 16, she would only get worse and worse. I had to go to my grandparents because she threw me out of the house. Even threw things at me like an umbrella and other things. I never hit her, I only tried to stop her for hitting me.. But she would always scream if I did anything. As if I was torturing her.
After a few days she appologized, promised to stop drinking (like always). And I went back to my mom. In the beginning it was okay but it all turned bad again. When I was 17, . I got into a severe depression.
She was doing this so much, just over and over and over again..
She came in, with that drunken glans of hers. She thought again that I was the most horrible student ever. Sad behind me while I was doing something and just started spewing lies after lies. I was horrible, why was I like this, I will never make it in life, I was spoiled, I was blalaal. Again and again and again. 8 and 9 didnt matter.
I got so depressed that I was planning a bombing at my school. I hated everyone except some friends. Everyone. You made a joke? I hate you. You say something stupid, hate hate hate. I didn't help that I was a severe nihilist aswell. But I never did anything, because at least there was some reason left in my. Why? For what purpose? Would it help you?
One day I just started crying in class. A friend later that day told me if I was okay. I told him no.. and started crying again. I told him everything and I would try to get help.
But that day.. she started again and again..
And I punched her. 3 times. I time her nose, two other times her head. I felt extreemly regretful. I was so sorry to her. I didn't mean it.. she had a bleeding nose and started crying. I thought that things could go back to 'normal'. She threw me out of the house and I went to my grandparents (after visiting my aunt but that is not important tbh).
My grandfather, was in a wheelchair and welcomed me. My grandmother was looking for me and would return soon.
When she got back, I told them everything and they comforted me.(remember that they are alcoholics, but good people)
Then... My mothers car arrived, she went to the front door and ringed the bell. My grandmother told her that I would stay here. My mother disagreed. My mother would show my grandmother how much she disagreed.
She grabbed a gold club and hit my grandmother on her head.
She survived, because I knocked my own mother out. The police and an ambulance came after 15 minutes. 15.. I was holding my mom a corner for 15 minutes like a criminal.
I got help, she would quit,
drank behind my back,
threatened me if I told CPS.
Hit me with a small gitar over the head.
I again had to knock my own mother out to save my own life.
I have tried to not get addicted. I stay away form alcohol and cigarettes, but I failed with porn. So that's why I am here.
Now.. I am 22.
I graduated with my physics bachelor, got a good job, live on my own, conquered my mental problems.
Except for my porn addiction. I will fix this.
Things I learned:
If you have the same situation like me, get help. It gets better.
Even in the worst possible situations, there is hope.
Stay rational and you can live a good life.
Read Atlas Shrugged and learn about objectivism.
Life is worth it.
Thank you for reading this, thank you.