I have MOed flaccid/semi hard for years and I am now suffering the consequences!

*LONG POST ALERT*

I am 26 years old. Masturbated first time when I was 14. Started PMOing when I was 16.

Somewhere around the time when I was 20-21 years old I developed this habit of fapping quickly when I wasn’t even fully hard. I was living with my parents and wanted to get the act over with as soon as possible so instead of getting fully hard and then leisurely masturbating for 5-10 minutes, I busted out a quick one in 2-3 minutes and was done with it. I was addicted to the nice feeling of cumming and was fapping in this manner like 3-4 times on an average per day.

Fast forward to present day and I can’t seem to be able to hold a full erection for more than a few seconds. In the rare instance that I can hold a full hard on and fap then I don’t find cumming as pleasurable as I do while fapping & cumming when flaccid/half erect.

When developing this bad habit of flaccid fapping I never thought it would have any long term effects because I only considered it a time saving efficient method and thought that when the moment comes I would be fine to keep it up and would experience no difference between cumming while fully hard vs cumming while flaccid/half hard. However I was terribly wrong!

Now this is really worrying me because it seems I am not able to keep it up for too long and don’t find it as pleasurable to cum when fully hard! I know all this might sound crazy but this actually is what I have got myself into! It seems I have involuntarily and subconsciously programmed my mind-body to find masturbation/ejaculation while flaccid/half hard pleasurable and so now I don’t really find cumming when fully hard as enjoyable.

I have also experienced loss of an inch when fully erect. I remember measuring my dick when I was fully hard back when I was 20 years old (it was 6.5”). I haven’t measured my cock in ages and just last week decided to have a measurement to see if this habit of flaccid ejaculation had any effect on my erections and I was shocked to see I was less than 6” when fully erect.

This has me panicking now. I have stopped masturbation altogether and deleted/destroyed all porn I had in a fit of rage.

I know I have massively fucked up for so many years but I want to be able to get my sexual powers back which I had 5-6 years ago! I deeply regret my actions and hate myself for developing this self destructive habit but I want to turn back clock and regain my full size erection and feel nice when I cum fully hard.

I have stopped all sexual activity (have not done masturbation, porn/imagery and touching/edging in three days now) out of fear I wouldn’t be able to “perform” if tomorrow I was to somehow get a chance to sleep with a nice woman. I will be on joining a local gym next week to lose fat and build muscle, I am also making sure to sleep on time at night and not endlessly browse the web before bed.

I have been crying to myself since yesterday fearing about this and therefore I decided to log in here after some time now.

I need an honest answer guys: Do I have any hope of regaining my former sexual self if I stop MOing/PMOing and start living healthy or am I permanently screwed because of some bad choices I have made in life in the last 5-6 years?

 

I have decided to stay abstinent for at least 365 days. So far I have not seen any considerable improvements (6 days in) but yeah I am noticing some night erections.

Will one year of nothing sexual be ok for recovery or would I have to see a doctor?

 

Update: Although I still cannot get hard without Artificial Stimulation (which I am trying hardest to avoid resorting to). I have noticed stronger morning erections and frequent night ones. I measured my dick when I woke up with a pretty strong boner and I was taken back to see that I was back in the 6” range (although not quite the 6.5” mark that I once had)

I guess the improvement is slight and it is gonna take a long time to get back to normal.