One of my male friends is a trigger for me

A couple of ideas, hopefully others have more

1. Set up boundaries when you are talking to him: don't talk about anything that you wouldn't be comfortable talking to him about in front of your boyfriend.
   
2. Acknowledge the thought, the trigger, and then move your mind onto other things (not easy at first but this gets easier with practice).

 

This is good advice. Id only add to avoid being alone with him. Hopefully its not an issue as youve indicated youre both part of a group of friends but if youre going to end up in a situation alone with this guy invite some of your other friends along, or if youre all meeting up try and make sure you arrive when theres more than just him.

 

Following you around and putting demands on your attention is not good, its big red flag behaviour. Be very clear with him what your boundaries are and that you have a bf and dont need him to check up on you or follow you.

 

Self-control and willpower go hand in hand here

In an unavoidable peril such as this, the only thing you can do is to improve your own skills while learning the fragile balance between ignoring someone and being unaffected by them.

This is an internal struggle, and so the solution can be found in your own persona You need not look far! It's a new approach you need; nothing else. The answers are with you, but the route is one you must forge on your own!

Think. What exactly is so triggering?
The way he looks?
The way he behaves?
The personality he has?
What is the real attraction towards? Once you find it; alter your view on it!

 

Harmless flirting is normal between friends. The journey we're all in isn't normal.

How much do you really want to recover from PMO? If you are sure he is a trigger, cut him and the social group off (temporarily). Remember the saying "Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter". Everyone has the right to space. You're at war with your mind... people can wait.

 

One other thought, and you may not want to hear this, but do think through the possibility that being triggered by his persona is a sign that perhaps you should split up with your boyfriend and move on. That's probably not the case but you should think about it.

 

Yeah!
Just don't give in and tell him outright how you feel. I speak as a guy who's spent a few years in the same country as you and trust me when I say that guys here metamorph when they hear a girl likes them. *shivers* I guess I can't speak for everybody though.

Make the transition very gradual. Funnily enough, treat your case as a science experiment. Everyday, try to understand a little better what aspect of him is the real cause of your attraction.
Divide the possibilities into the following classes:
1. Appearance
2. Personality / General Attitude
3. Common Interests
(You can expand as you see fit).

An easier way, however, is to reverse engineer your way into identifying what makes you "click" when he's around. Ask yourself what you want in an ideal bf and cross-check that list with his traits. You don't need to experiment if you follow this way.

Good luck ^^

 

It's smooth sailing from here ^^
And thanks for the follow! You honour me

 

A guy-friend whose general persona turns you on when you are around him. Maybe you're in love with him? I have no idea, but that's what it kind of sounds like to me. Or maybe it's just an effect of PMO and you won't find out until you've completed your NoFap Quest.