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PIED question

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by johnnythejohn, May 21, 2020.

  1. johnnythejohn

    johnnythejohn Fapstronaut

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    Can PIED be recovered only with no PM? I've seen that no PMO is the best, but I wanna know if my gf can give me orgasm and I can still recover.
     
    Stp890 and Mapleleafway like this.
  2. I have no experience with PIED but this is what I read on nofap: yes you can have sex during a detox but it will take a lot more time.
    Best cure for PIED is a 3 month pmo detox. Tough, but once it’s done you are a new man.
     
  3. Les_Brown

    Les_Brown Fapstronaut

    Agree with what's written above with two caveats:

    1) For some couples it may be important for the health of the relationship and the ability to avoid PM if intimacy between partners continues. There's a book that discusses how to be intimate without O - "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow" by Marnia Robinson - if you're interested. What's your gf's impression/wishes?

    2) PIED generally resolves after a few months of abstinence, but can last 295 days (Noah Church) or even years depending on your brain chemistry and strength of neural connections tied to the PMO/reward pathway. Hope for the best, but recognize that years/decades of addiction takes time to heal.

    Stay strong, stay safe.
     
    PaulPaul likes this.
  4. Stp890

    Stp890 Fapstronaut

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    PIED is complex and stubborn.severe PIED need longer than a year.90days is not effective for many people including me.
     
  5. Starfinder89

    Starfinder89 Fapstronaut

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    I am in similare shoes like you:
    The 90 days streak is a challenge to motivate you. It's not done with 90 days in some cases. Every guy is different. Sometimes doing NoFap for 90 days and then proceeding into a healthy level of porn consumption will be enough to set your PIED back.
    But if you have PIED you're prolly a harder case. So the 90 days are just a rule of thumb.
    Your recovery is supposed to set you back to what you are naturaly supposed to be as a man. Aroused by the slightest touch, or even just holding hands. Depending on your age it might need a little more than that, but you get my point. Nature designed you to be ready easily.
    If you have PIED that means, you might take longer than just 90 days to get there.
    So my advice is that you do let your girl give you orgasms, or try to have sex and orgasm during that. Because to arouse yourself during intercourse and not cumming is not helping either and to denie your partners lust is also bad.
    Tell her, however, that the journey takes time and 90 days doesn't mean it's over and you'll be ready to rock her world.
    Guess what. Women are understanding. If your goal is to be a healthy male, she will like it. It will be hard on the relationship at times, not gonna lie, but it's worth it.
    All the other men out there crank it out regularly and even though they don't have PIED, it does have an affect on them. So you'll be better than most guys at the goal of NoFap.
    Women, your woman, will see that.
    I've read stories, where some men with PIED couldn't have sex for 4-5 months and even then had not the full erection. It took for one guy - i remember specifically - in total 18 months to get to a point, where he was erect fully, when his girl would just voice that she's "willing".

    so just be prepared, that it might take "ages" for you. I'm having open conversation with my girl and it's hard sometimes, because there's nothing more she wants than me being solid like a rock for long periods of time. But I keep her in the loop and feel like, that way she understands where I am and where I go.

    Cheers.
     
    Stp890 likes this.
  6. Stp890

    Stp890 Fapstronaut

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    Hardmode is faster,start hardmode and then normal or standard mode
     
  7. Pinker

    Pinker Fapstronaut

    How do you manage to orgasm with your girlfriend if you cannot get an erection? Do you blow your load while flaccid? Do you have to fantasize about porn when that happens?

    If you can orgasm without thinking about porn, then what's the problem?

    If you think about porn during sex in order to get orgasm, then stop doing it now, because it is holding you back. If you are then not able to orgasm without thinking about porn, then great - you have removed O, and now you are doing full-on PMO.

    (Hope your girlfriend is OK with you not coming - they often take it personally)


    What worked for me: 60 days on monk mode (no porn, masturbation or sex), then a relapse, then a shorter streak (around 15 days), then a hookup, then an embarrassing performance in bed, then better performance morning after, and then it just kept getting better. It took some time before I could stop thinking about porn completely (also, I relapsed occasionally).
    I agree that monk mode can be faster.
     
    Stp890 likes this.

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