still M, but avoiding P

I binged hard on Thursday, after a few days of no PMO before that. Then I stayed really busy for a few days, around people constantly. Fapped to get to sleep when I was finally alone, and a couple times the day after that, and once this afternoon.

But I am almost 5 days without porn now. I can definitely feel a difference in my general mood level, and less of an urge to look at porn. I think allowing myself a little release by masturbating has taken some of the pressure and craving off.

I definitely plan on going for much longer stretches without masturbating, maybe even a full 90 days, but for now, avoiding porn feels like a degree of success to me. I know everyone's issues and goals are slightly different.

My longest streak of no MO was 19 days, but I was still checking out some P-subs during that time. This feels much better, like I've got good momentum, not feeding the dopamine cycle nearly as much. The most important thing is not punishing myself and sinking into depression when I don't live up the goals.

That's one thing from my experience that I think a lot of people here need to keep in mind. When you're trying to break a cycle, especially if it involves depression, getting into that hole of a black mood following a relapse is even more damaging to recovery than the odd wank here or there.

 

Cutting out the porn leads to drastically reduced frequency of masturbation. Obviously, if I notice that frequency of masturbation starts to creep up, then I can adjust my tactic and deal with that.

I'm not advocating that anyone just masturbate all the time. And it's better to attempt a total reboot, no masturbation at all.

But there's not ONE single approach that works for everyone. I see way too many people here get despondent when they don't live up to their really high goals. Despair and shame are the biggest stumbling blocks that lead to repeated relapse and binging. Make peace with the occasional wank, and you're less likely to keep on masturbating after a little slip.

Also, since I have only ever experienced anything close to PIED when condoms and/or alcohol were also involved, I'm not worried about my sex drive. Everyone's situation is different though.