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This sucks

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Jsm3917, Mar 9, 2017.

  1. Mar 9, 2017 #1
    Jsm3917

    Jsm3917 Fapstronaut

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    Can anyone else relate to trying to recover when all your girlfriend wants to do is be sexually active w/ you. I want to but I can't get off to anything she does right now. And probably not for a while either. And I would tell her that but I'm trying to work around not killing her self esteem as I feel it is an issue she will take to heart. She understands my issue but I don't think I've expressed to her how bad it is cause she won't keep her hands away from my barely erect genitals. I even contracted jock itch and decided to avoid treating it to ward her off and she still doesn't care. Honestly I love her but I can't keep avoiding us being alone in a room together for the next month. Much less probably longer. I feel I am taking the best approach to balance everything here. In about a week and a half I will be out of town for 10 days and maybe I will have made enough progress after all those days to be able to humor her moves. I just need to lock down the pornography. Especially when I'm away.
     
    Jsm3917, Mar 9, 2017
    Jsm3917, Mar 9, 2017
    #1
  2. Mar 9, 2017 #2
    Jsm3917

    Jsm3917 Fapstronaut

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    I think I'm just going to tell her and be more upfront that I need atleast a month. If I know her at all I feel I should know she will understand.
     
    Jsm3917, Mar 9, 2017
    Jsm3917, Mar 9, 2017
    #2
  3. Mar 9, 2017 #3
    Italics the Bold

    Italics the Bold Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure i understand why people give up sex as well as PMO?
    The way i see it, quitting PMO is like quitting a toxic relationship you are having behind your partners back. With multiple pixel women that is! So why would it follow that you have to quit sex with your partner as well?
    I gather you are experiencing PIED? I don't have experience with this, but i would have thought your partner would be the one who could help in your recovery? It might help if you really open up to her. More honesty breeds more intimacy.
    On the other hand, perhaps you are right and need to do a hard reboot. I'm no expert!
     
    Italics the Bold, Mar 9, 2017
    Italics the Bold, Mar 9, 2017
    #3
    Jsm3917 likes this.
  4. Mar 9, 2017 #4
    Jsm3917

    Jsm3917 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah it's because I have porn induced erectile dysfunction lol. My conflict is I can't be hard or stay hard long because she just doesn't kill it like porn does. I agree that sex should be fine and can even help if your issue is just porn and masturbaition, but I need to spend atleast enough time rebooting to get a semi-healthy erection or else there is no sexual activity. Atleast on my end. Just a girl playing around with an erection that I can barely hold up.
     
    Jsm3917, Mar 9, 2017
    Jsm3917, Mar 9, 2017
    #4
  5. Mar 10, 2017 #5
    Italics the Bold

    Italics the Bold Fapstronaut

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    Try Karezza! There is a sex position where you can start from that doesn't even require you to be hard. And the idea is to avoid orgasm so that solves that one!
    Karezza sounds perfect for you...
    https://www.reuniting.info/karezza_four_easy_steps
     
    Italics the Bold, Mar 10, 2017
    Italics the Bold, Mar 10, 2017
    #5
  6. Mar 10, 2017 #6
    ComplacencyKills

    ComplacencyKills Fapstronaut

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    Even if you can't get hard, there are many ways to have sex that don't involve your penis.

    It seems that alot of fapstronauts conclude that total celibacy is the only path, and develop a profound fear of intimate contact. IMO this is simply trading one unhealthy way viewing sex for another unhealthy way of viewing sex.

    Also, having jock itch sucks and will put you in a bad mood. It's really easy to treat.
    http://www.webmd.com/men/tc/jock-itch-topic-overview

    My thought is if you really feel like celibacy is the path for you, be honest and upfront with your girl and don't deny her (or yourself) physical affection.
     
    ComplacencyKills, Mar 10, 2017
    ComplacencyKills, Mar 10, 2017
    #6
  7. Mar 13, 2017 #7
    BeatmastaJones

    BeatmastaJones Guest

    Hey man, I struggled with the same problem with my girlfriend last year when we started dating. Maybe youre not ready for sex yet, but you could please her with other parts if your body ;) it keeps my girlfriend happy. People arent always in the mood, but if you make an effort to learn and try new things, im sure she will be more than understanding. Cheers
     
    BeatmastaJones, Mar 13, 2017
    BeatmastaJones, Mar 13, 2017
    #7
    Jsm3917 likes this.

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