Why start again? I'm happy.

And let me ask you so who are you? Why are you here? Is tour life worth living? We can hear pain in you words. IMO it's obvious that you need to quit. Are your relations clean? I can't watch a woman without thinking about her in a sexual contest. Is it the reality? We need to feel that pain, that urge you talked about. Pmo got our lives - and it's not completly our fault - but it affects every side of life. Relationships over all. It make us selfish, liars. Every mental use of a known or unknown girl image is an ABUSE. That's the thing. We are not lonely and most of life is about beeing with others. Analyze that. Find out what pmo is doing to your behaviour, expecially in social issues. And considerate the joy of beeing free. Ciao!

 

What are your deeper yearnings?

 

It looks like you know the answers to your problems. In the end, it all comes down to you. Do you think porn is affecting your life in bad way? Do you feel porn has changed your mental state? Do you think porn is bad for you? Are you an addict? Only you can answer these questions and if the answer is yes, you know you need to change. Like you said, it is not easy, there will be a lot of disappointments and a lot of the time, you will feel it is unnecessary. But, speaking from personal experience, it is worth it. It doesn't matter if there aren't any additional benefits. The feeling that porn doesn't control your life is extremely powerful.

 

If I were to ask you how you are, which would you answer:

"I'm great, I love my life!!!"
or simply
"I'm fine."

Took me a while to realize the difference, but once I realized I didn't want my life to be just "fine" I got off my ass and started changing things. Here's the video that made me realize it: How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF

I want my life to be great. Do you?

 

You MUST realize that this is WAY excessive, right? Your brain is not meant to be flooded with dopamine for hours and hours like that. I used to do this too and my health took a huge toll. As we get older our natural dopamine levels decline. When you mix over masturbation with that you get constant low dopamine levels. You are intentionally depleting your body's own dopamine levels and your health will get worse and worse. Could eventually lead to Parkinson's when you are older. Is this so called "happiness" worth ruining your health? Look up symptoms of low dopamine and see if you already have any of those.

 

One word: tolerance.

The core of the issue isn't moral, ethical, ideological...

The core of the issue is, you always need MORE, until there literally isn't enough for you to take, and the world isn't a good enough place for you anymore, if you understand what I mean.

Without tolerance, none of us would be here.

 

It's a good question. If PMO had continued to make me feel happy, without any consequences, I think I'd still be doing it. I think I'm in recovery because the painful consequences outweighed the pleasure I was getting. I don't think I would've been motivated to stop otherwise.

I guess there's what pays off in the moment and what pays off in the long run. Like I wouldn't mind a sweet snack right now. It would make me happy. But I know that that can lead to another snack and another, and eventually it will lead me to a place where I'm not happy (overweight, sick, tired, sluggish, enslaved).

"A day at a time" has helped me sometimes. I just have to make it through today without PMO, or the sweet snack. Tomorrow I may make another decision.

 

You're not happy, you're content. Content with a sub-par life style
Just ask yourself, are you achieving anything? Is there anything you even want to achieve?

"Why would I willingly give up happiness for pain?"
You only feel pain because you view it as pain, when really NoFap and what comes with it is blissful and freeing it's just disguised by the lack of dopamine rushes your getting.
The "pain" is always there and you are just hiding from it, NoFap can be that fist step to make you get off your ass and eventually conquer all your problems.

Also, don't you want a challenge?

 

Hello,

The reality is you are not happy or you are at least contradicting yourself. You say you are happy, but then you say "I'm getting minimal sleep because I PMO for at least four hours a day. Everything hurts so much, and there's no doubt it's because of my addiction." What is it, are you happy or in pain?

Once you reach a bottom where the pain out weighs the pleasure you may dig deep enough to help yourself. But I have to be real, not everyone will have the strength to succeed and we all make the choice of what life we will live. If you continue to PMO you will live a life that is not fulfilling and despite saying that you are happy, you will not be happy or living a fulfilling life. I'm assuming if you continuing PMO for hours at a time every day your life will get worse. The choice is yours to fight for a better life or give up and live the life that you have created for yourself.

Wishing you the best of luck. This is hard for everyone and we all make a choice to win or lose.