CarloDA

Hello everyone, I just found a NoFap video while I was following the destructive behavior (for me) of surfing the internet and youtube for mild-porn videos. I'm struggling with addiction to internet pornography, sexually-motivated chatrooms and so on since almost two years with very little success. But, as you suggest, never give up, even if I had given up so much times in the past. I'm not an english native speaker, I'm from Italy, so excuse me if my English is somewhere unclear and very far from perfect. I'm an electric engineer and alternate part-time teacher in High School of electronics, I'm 36 years old (in December 37 years old), but in last yeat work has been low. I'm single, even if there is a possibility of relationship with a very lovely girl, even if it's difficult. But when I'm alone at home it become very easy for me to revert to masturbation while watching pornography, in a very addictive way, making me waste so much of time, and even it lowers desidere to pursue a fullfilling relationship with that girl or a new one, if this "project" will not end well. In the few period I remain sober o rebooted (as you say) from pornography and masturbation I really felt more energetic, willing to do things, wanting to improve me and train both physically and mentally. When addiction took over, I always feel depressed, angry, with very low energy, feeling almost as I'm drifting in the sea instead of following any direction. I want to try anything to change this self-destructing path. This for me is day 0. But I start.

 

Yes, willpower alone is very weak... even if I hate to recognize so. today, I'll try to contact a psychologist in Milan (not far from where I live) that I found he's specialized into sexual and pornography compulsion, and has been recommended to me by a friend who share this "problem" but he has recovered very well...