Grew a Fear of Women: Sub-Conscious

Read no more mr nice guy.

 

The only way to do a thing is to do it. It might be scary the first time but eventually it's nothing. Believe that you can do it. You are physically capable of speech. The secret to it is that there is no secret, and you just have to force words to come out of your mouth even if you're scared. It's okay to not have anything to say, but if you do have something, pull the trigger. It's like going off the high dive for the first time. You already know how to do it, and it's scary, so just be scared and do it!

 

Like Shia Labeouf said:

"JUST DO IT!"

 

Maybe try identifying the root cause of this fear? Why is it there? At what point did it start creeping in to your life? What caused it? A specific instance? An experience? Find it. Then find a way to overcome it. But you have to be rigorously honest with yourself.

 

Do you find solitude uncomfortable?

 

Practice is key my man. Get used to doing shit. I got rejected countless times, I tell myself people will somehow always come up with excuses. Opportunities will come to you when you’re ready. Good luck my boy!

 

Hey man, you are not alone. There is millions of guy out there who hesitate and lack solid confidence with women.

I just ghoasted today. First time it happened in over 2 years! blew my fragile confidence right apart. To me and everyone else I mention it made no sense. I was definetely not out of her league, infact, alot more attractive I would say. She was an obese single mom with ok face, not super hot just ok. So when you get ghoasted by fucking fat single moms you know you have no game what so ever...

 

Its a numbers game, keep going for it. They won't all say no.

 

Try some Zumba, yoga, pilates, and step classes just to become comfortable around women.

Then try partnered dance classes like social, ballroom, or Latin dancing.

I’d find a class where they rotate partners, and teach the socially acceptable ways to hold another women (especially someone else’s wife or girlfriend), of different shapes and sizes.

When it comes to talking, I’d get used to talking to other people’s wives and girlfriends. That’s when I learned what’s considered normal conversations (and not hitting on them), and appropriate questions and topics.

It gets interesting when I meet single women. From my experience, they seem very uncomfortable (or just not interested). But at that point I’m already comfortable with myself, so I’d switch it around trying to help her become comfortable too.

Hope that helps.

 

Of course I was. I am not delusional in this sense. It just sucks when it happens was quite a long time ago it happened to me. It is the sign of a inferior individual in my mind. And just another reason cut social media as channel for approaching women. It is just to easy and you are so freaking replacable it is absolutely laughable.

 

Absolutely so. Dating apps seems to mainly generate more bitternes and ressentment towards the opposite sex..perhaps this is part of why they are so hyped? Seems to me some people wan't us to just dwell alone in self-contempt, despair and loneliness.

Nevertheless, I would like to reach out to all good guys out there being dealt the cold hand and being systematically rejected at social media, I feel for you and i sympathize but it is futile what your are doing. It might even be detrimental to your own state of health.

 

Start taking cold showers. It's important though how you do it. For myself I have a small routine for getting into the shower, once started I'm not allowed to stall or pause, I have to get straight under the water. I've been doing it this way for about two months I think and it's still getting easier and helps me to just do things in real life. Like speak to a woman or just a stranger whoever, i have had a real benefit. The routine is important because once started I know I'm about to do something that my mind is telling me is going to be unpleasant. Yet I keep going, I enter the bathroom, lay a towel on the floor and one on the windowsill to dry myself after. Then go straight in the cubicle and hit the lever, boom. Freezing water! My mind is telling me the whole time it's going to suck and be freezing though it's becoming quieter, my body takes over and I don't think about it I just do it. By doing this I'm learning to do something unpleasant and I love it. The reality is I actually love the sensation, there's not really many opportunities in the day to experience that are as intense as freezing cold water suddenly pouring over you. I love the first shock and how I react to it, breathing hard for a couple of breaths, my body tenses up and then after a few seconds I start to relax in there, and that feels incredible. It's my favourite part of the day and I feel absolutely at my best when I get out. I'm probably only in there about twenty or thirty seconds on average, sometimes longer if I am really enjoying it but the minimum time is until I a over the shock and feeling the rush of pleasure. I do that because I think it's very important to experience the reward every time for doing something tats scary or unpleasant. So I'm teaching myself to like scary things, or at least to learn there's no actual real danger there. Just imagined. Anywho, long reply I know. But I can't say too much good stuff about it, it's frigging awesome.