Mom and Dad I'm divorcing you...

I have had strained relations with my parents, too. It is a hard thing. Note: They are under no obligation whatsoever to financially support you as an adult child. $3k is nothing to sneeze at, and $25k is a princely sum which you are not owed. if you do speak with your parents about this, definitely stick to the short script and not the long one. You sound very angry and that anger will not help in clear communication with them, especially your father.

I am praying for peace for all of you as you navigate these tricky waters.

 

It sounds like you are in a very unhappy place right now. Sorry to hear that. Christ and his Holy Spirit see your pain, and they are praying for you (Romans 8:26-27,34). Yes, sometimes there is value in distancing ourselves from people who have a destructive influence in our lives. However, there is never value in holding onto anger. Anger is a natural response to being sinned against, but we need to find a way to deal with it with God. The following two step process can help. (1) Find a way of expressing the hurt and anger and any desire for revenge to God, and then give it over to him. The lament and imprecatory Psalms are the best model for doing this. I suggest reading through the Psalms until you find one that speaks to your situation, and then using this to shape your own prayer to God. Psalm 55 is one that comes to mind that might be helpful in your situation. (2) Learn to forgive. This has to happen, or else the rest of your life will be poisoned by bitterness. However, this should happen after step 1, because otherwise you are likely to just suppress your hurt and anger rather than genuinely forgiving. The secret to forgiving people who have sinned against us in a serious way is to come to terms with how much we ourselves have been forgiven. The story of the merciful king and the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18 is helpful. The merciful king forgave his servant the debt of 10,000 talents. A talent was a unit of weight that was supposed to be equivalent to what a man could carry on his back, and what was being weighed in this case was gold or silver. Therefore the picture here is of an army of 10,000 men fully laden with gold or silver. In today's terms we are not talking about millions of dollars, but billions, the kind of money that only governments or multi-national corporations have. It would hurt a king to write off a debt that large. And that is the point. This is a picture of our sin before God. This is a debt we could never repay, even if we worked for 1000 lifetimes, and it hurt the king to bear this debt for us - it cost him the life of his only Son. After this, the servant went out and refused to forgive his fellow servant who owed him a debt of 100 denarii. A denarius was a silver coin that was equivalent to what a skilled labourer would be paid for a day's work (unskilled labourers would be paid less). So this would be about 4 months' pay. If someone owed me that much money and refused to pay me I would be upset. And that is the point too. The sins that other people commit against us are real and serious and hard to forgive. The only thing that makes them look small is the debt of 10,000 talents that God has forgiven us. The more we fix our eyes on Jesus, and see how much he has forgiven us, the easier we find it to forgive others.

 

I have had strained relationships with my parents as well, and I can give you a word of advice:

Prayer Works!!!

Please continue to pray for your parents! Pray for them to know God's love, to get closer to him. My father prayed for me, and as a result not only was I saved and came to Christ but our relationship was completely healed and restored. There were points in my life where I said I didn't want to see him at all. If you had told me he'd be saved or I would be saved, I would've said no way. Now we are not only extremely close, but we discuss the word of God together, pray together, and he is not only my Dad but one of the people I am closest to.

At one point, I had to move out of my Moms house into my Dads house because I was so disrespectful to her. I was lost, abusing drugs, lust, and disrespect. My Dad was recently saved, and I wasn't. He was in and out of church and God for a while, and I believed in God but I never really took it seriously.

My Dad had started taking me to his church (I didn't want to go at first). One night, I came home, after smoking weed, and he came to pray with me. We prayed, and I encountered the Holy Spirit for the first time. My life was never the same again. He said "Did you feel that?" and I said "Yeah". He said, "Every time I pray that happens".

Fast forward around a year later, I've been freed from my past addictions, am part of a wonderful church, my relationship with my Mom is better than it has ever been before. My relationship with my Dad is better than it has ever been before. Simply because of God, prayer and faith that he can do it.

Be strengthened in the lord, and seek his rest. He will deliver!

God bless you