Experience of a 21 year old [23 days]

Hello everyone,

I want to write this post just to share my experience so far [23 days]. It's the first proper post I write so if there's any mistake or the flow it's not very smooth, I apologize.

As I wrote on the presentation, I started masturbating since a relative young age, 9/10 years, and since then I never went for more than 3 days without. It has been a big company in my teens (I am now 21) and I must admit I really enjoyed it; it was the first thing in the morning and many times the last time in the evening before going to sleep. A pure addiction! I never perceived it as a threat to my being, though. I would be in ecstasy quite a few times and that was the most amazing thing in my life.

I was the kind of boy who would have given anything to have a nice and cute girlfriend.
Apart of some memories of my childhood "playing" with some girls, I never was a playboy. I gave my first kiss at 16 (I don't think it's too late) to my first girlfriend and escalated with my second one, when I was around 18. But didn't have sex.
From there, period where I was very happy, I understood I couldn't just "play" without having sex, and so I tried more times, either with my second girlfriend and other girls I've been with after.

I discovered something about myself and I was scared. As many people here, I needed a lot of work to reach the orgasm, and it was as though my penis recognized only my hand, in order to get harder and reach it. I knew it was for the porn. I knew it. But I didn't stop. During all those years I tried to stop, but 90% of the time I would relapse the day after, and then I would try MAYBE months and months later.

I heard of NoFap before, but it was just one of the thousand things going on on the internet, and I didn't really give any importance to it. So I kept masturbating every day. Just lately I got worried. Since in this period of my life I'm going through many things, I don't have a girlfriend (but I'm a free spirit, I don't feel alone. I must admit I like it!) but as any of us, I have urges. So, I went to a prostitute. Not the first time of course, just once in a while, I know it's very bad since I'm very young, but I had enough of masturbating all the time. This time it was different. After leaving I felt some shame, and I was sad about the fact that I can't have regular sex. Since then, something flipped in me, and I decided not to masturbate, I don't know how long for, maybe forever, and to show the world how big my balls are. The streak lasted around 10 days, and it felt A-W-E-S-O-M-E. I cried some times for the happiness, I have to say. I want's to sad for the relapse, I knew I could do it, and now as I wrote before I'm on my 23rd day. It's ups and downs, but I feel my life improving. I wasn't a loser, but I feel my life improving.

Thank you community.