1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Eye contact

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Wuzzaap, Sep 8, 2019.

  1. Wuzzaap

    Wuzzaap Fapstronaut

    319
    231
    43
    I noticed that when I talk to people . I don't make eye contact . I tried doing it but it was hard .

    I read somewhere that it is related to being afraid . When u not afraid of someone , u can look to his eyes smoothly.

    I hear a lot say that quitting porn makes it much more easier .

    Did any have this issue? and if so , where u able to make eye contact ?
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  2. Astro77

    Astro77 Fapstronaut

    70
    57
    18
    I've struggled but I've found it easier the further along my no PMO journey. It's defiantly linked, possibly because of the shame we feel from jacking off to porn. It will get better the further along your journey you go.
     
    Wuzzaap likes this.
  3. Wuzzaap

    Wuzzaap Fapstronaut

    319
    231
    43
    Thanx for motivating me bro, what strategies did you use to help in improving eye contact
     
    Astro77 likes this.
  4. fellowBrother

    fellowBrother Fapstronaut

    247
    206
    43
    Hey, the ability to hold eye contact will come with time. Just stop watching porn and masturbating. The reason you cant hold eye contact is because your body subconsciously thinks the person is a threat. When it comes to women, your body sees her as a very important opportunity(because porn has ruined your chemical brain balance) and causes you to become timid. When you watch porn/masturbate/fantasize you put yourself at a disadvantage with women and people in general. You degrade your prefrontal cortex with addiction. Google "sex addiction brain scan". It weakens your ability to think and act like an adult in many ways.
     
  5. High Functioning Autism (aka Asperger’s Syndrome) can cause making eye contact difficult or impossible. Just wanted to mention that.
     
    Wuzzaap likes this.
  6. Wuzzaap

    Wuzzaap Fapstronaut

    319
    231
    43
    thanx man, I really needed to hear this. very logical explanation. You just prevented me from relapsing.
    Every time I wanna masturabte. I remind myself of how my life has been takin away from this bullshit.
    Could not enjoy my teenage hood to Porn.
     
  7. Wuzzaap

    Wuzzaap Fapstronaut

    319
    231
    43
    I don't think that's the case with me.

    Even my social anxiety is mental not physical . I am not anxious or unsocial in nature. is just fear from past experiences
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Astro77

    Astro77 Fapstronaut

    70
    57
    18
    To be honest I'm still struggling with it a little but I try hard to really be listening into the conversation and not drifting off half through. This makes eye contant more natural, but sometimes I still lose it. I think when the testosterone boost from nofap comes, with the confidence boost eye contact becomes easier and more natural. It's a little bit of a waiting game, but being aware of it might also help.
     
    Wuzzaap likes this.
  9. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

    949
    1,615
    123
    I used to avoid eye contact when I was younger but now I don’t really have a problem with it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. I wanna make more eye contact..I love people's eyes even if I can be afraid of it, I wanna make more. : )
     
    Deleted Account and Astro77 like this.
  11. For me I make eye contact with my co workers or customers 100 percent but in public if I don't see the person as a threat or I am not interested in I look away . Before NoFap I would look away allot because I just didn't want to engage with anyone I didn't have to .
     
  12. Avenging Marmoset

    Avenging Marmoset Fapstronaut

    56
    52
    18
    I have AS and while most of my social interactions are normal in most regards, i have a VERY tough time with anything more than about 1 second of eye contact. Anything longrr is excruciating, like fingernails being raked across a chalk board.
     
  13. For me, after 5 decades of practice I can last 5 sec. I even count it out. I was told Any longer than that I’ll look like a stalker or serial killer.
     
  14. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

    489
    724
    93
    This reminds of the virgin vs. the Chad memes.
     
    FormerLeatherneck likes this.
  15. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,787
    5,061
    143
    That would explain a lot of things about me.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. Spiderwaffle

    Spiderwaffle Fapstronaut

    From a person that originally afraid to hold eye contact, I can say this is definitely something that will be improved by stopping PMO.
    After two weeks, I'm craving for eye contact. You build a connection to other people with your eyes, and eye contact with women, especially when both of you have this energy in the eye contact, can get a really intense thing. It's something I never experienced when jacking off daily.
     
  17. This is a good thread to resurrect and a reminder as to why we are all here to begin with. We are literally regaining our connection to humanity through the discipline of semen retention and abstinence in the case of both men and women. Men retain semen for the many masculine characteristics it enhances and women abstain for many of the same reasons respectively. I have read and have also personally experienced that our inherent traits are amplified when we abstain. Men become more masculine and women become more feminine. And the byproduct of all of this is stronger eye contact. Fear of public spaces and social interactions becomes dramatically reduced if not completely eliminated in most cases save the outliers of preexisting conditions like Asperger’s or autism.
     
  18. FormerLeatherneck

    FormerLeatherneck Fapstronaut

    287
    260
    63
    Holy thread revival Batman!
     
    PRESS THE FIGHT likes this.
  19. Hi Wuzzaap,
    IMO you don't have to maintain eye contact with a person you are speaking to. Some people, myself included, think that doing so can be an attempt to intimidate. But not making 'any' eye contact is construed as a sign of fear and deception. The goal is to strike a balance.

    Christianity abounds with 'saints' who would avoid all eye contact with the opposite sex. For example Saint Teresa of Ávila and Saint Dominic. Former Vice President Mike Pence follows a rule. This is is that he will not be alone with any woman other than his wife. Such steps I believe are draconian.

    If one can attain a pure mind any external stimuli becomes irrelevant. In fairness such a mindset would be difficult to attain. But not impossible!

    Good luck comrade!
     
  20. DeepRecovery

    DeepRecovery Fapstronaut

    Don't think OP is around anymore going by the Last seen on: date in their profile, but I just want to mention there's actually specific communication that you might intuitively pick up from the kind of eye contact. For example someone may actually not be interested in you sexually but just generally in the sense of curiosity. I was in a new community and shared a little bit and after going a few times I noticed one of the women there looking at me. The initial look isn't anything more than just being curious and a kind of contact but it may kind of lead to romantic interest down the line.

    Anyway if there's specific things that is communicated making more eye contact is almost like saying you're beginning to talk and listening to people talk, whereas we normally would consider that a given and it's just a question of what specifically we communicate when already talking.
     

Share This Page