I'm dead inside

Relax, brother. You must overcome this hurdle to become much stronger than ever! I am on 4 days? Streak, which is great and but I'm getting temptations, we must overcome this weakness and Conquer this useless desire for satisfaction

 

Alright it's time for the tough love.

Yes it is too hard because it's a big change for you as a person.
Instead of running away you start to stand your ground.
It's always easier to give up.

No matter what. Giving is not the right answer.

That depends on your growth.

You are weak. And that's okay. Being weak doesn't mean you suck.
You can only be strong when you're weak!

No being weak and being stupid are not the same.

and that is the reason why you can't thrive. In order to grow you need to accept who you are.
If you don't then you will never feel like accomplishing anything. And with that you will never grow.
If you are weak be accept it but be proud about the fact that you don't want to be like this anymore
and that you are taking actions and decisions to change.
That's where I started. AT 0% not at 1% but at the bottom after a breakdown because of my depression.

Someone who doesn't accept him/herself in the slightest is not capable of deciding who deserves to exist and who doesn't.
"Your mind is like this water, my friend. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear"
Your emotions are not bad but for a decision you need clarity and awareness.

You want help but you seem to be too much afraid to take a action.

You are hurt. Pain is a good thing.
It shows you 2 things.
1. You are hurt and you don't feel okay about it.
2. There is something inside you still refusing to give up. You are not dead yet.
That's what Hope is. It's born in our darkest moments. That's when hope kicks in.
Despite that everything seems lost. It will stand by your side. Till the very end.

 

People don't realize that we're all humans, no matter who you're talking about, even the person you think is perfect also sometimes has self deprecating thoughts, this porn shit ruins people. The person you see now successful had gone through the same shit and suicidal thoughts at some time, life is hard but we can always get better. I had suicidal thoughts all the time now i'm so much more stable and you won't realize that at one point in time I was forgetting everything, couldn't understand anything even when I focused, I felt like a retard because people could do shit at one try and I had to try multiple times for doing the same thing, now I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum.

 

He is right. You got enough chances. Now it's time for let go of the hatred accept the situation but not get comfortable with it.
Step by step. And YES! You need to start at 0% Someday everyone has too.

 

It's rough feeling like that, I have too. But you're more than this addiction, you can recover

Some great advice above - why not just try one thing? Sober for one day is still sober.

 

I've learned to direct my hate and disgust where it belongs...porn. Hate the porn. hate what it does to you. Hate where it takes you and how it makes you feel. When you hate it so much, you can then learn to love yourself more than you hate porn.

 

Don't indulge in fantasies. Start therapy if possible (this helped me).
staying busy is not the solution. but consciously dont indulge in fantasy. initially when sex thoughts came to my mind, i'd say: let's see if i dont indulge in them.
n it was like well the world didnt come to an end.
i had some fantasy today but didnt entertain them. consciously dont indulge in thoughts. this helped me.

 

I was like you before but I overcome that , all what I did was thanking my self and saying good things about my self like I am good I have done well ( even if I did a bad thing) . so i was not justifying what I did but I was trying to love my self in order to beat future problems and continue this good life . it is a good life . just remember the good things that you have and compare your self to poor people in afrika , compare your self with the people who are worse than you . do not over compare your self with people who are better than you (in your opinion) . lastly live your life day by day and compare your self for this day with your self for the last day . you are a good person because you are doing your best to quit porn . many people do never take such a decision like you to quit porn like you .
sorry for long post , hope it helps a bit .

 

oh man you beautiful soul