BFE

Well, I am BFE and I guess my issue started from when I lost my virginity.

It was to an older woman I was about 16 at the time and she was 25 - she was into the sex scene "a lot" and it was akin to someone learn to swim in a paddling pool being told that there are far more awesome water parks out there to explore.

It was a sensory overload - from there I was always looking for the next quirk - big thrill and it got to the point I was having to look and search for really obscure things just to see if it existed and then ...

So now after years of depression, PTSD, anxiety and a functional neurological disorder being diagnosed to me after a few traumatic events - I managed to recover with sport.

I am at a high level of my sport - well higher than I'd imagine I could after 2 years nearly - and feeling good about life again.

I knew I needed help when I had a housemate move in and there were a set of high heels laying around and I had trouble resisting the urge to "use them" - so here I stand at the cross roads of my life - lots of positive things I can engage him and move on with life to the wonderful future or get stuck in a rut fantasising over inanimate objects and lacking the confidence to even strike up a conversation with the owner or other gender species less it be online started.

I will get better and I will resist and even as I type this the urges cry to me like a siren which I know if I answer I will only drown in an ecstasy of my own disdain.

Pleasure to meet you all