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@Coffee Candy - It's confusing. I wish it was more clear.
I had anxiety. No sexual thoughts in that moment. Started moving my legs in a way that felt funny . . .
Could have stopped, but let it happen. Had an O. And the whole "event" was less than a minute.
Felt like a relapse partly because I was struggling with (failing to control) my fantasies :(
@Coffee Candy - it's only the second O that I've had this year (outside of sex, 1 wet dream) and it's a far cry from my old behaviour of daily PMO.
And I went over 4 years without sex. Having O's during sex is all new territory for me . . . so I'm not sure what my goals should be anymore
Indeed, you're far from who you used to be. you've accomplished much for yourself.
I understand.. but O's during sex will have to happen sometime in your life I think..If you want a partner, I think, because partners wanna give you O's, just receiving is not enough..Because to love is to give lol..
I know there r many other ways for someone to give love though..but still. girls love giving their man O's. Idk..what about making your goals..Like what you should aim for and what desired result you want? Dont you want a big relationship with her, a healthy sex life where she can have some of you too, and to be strong enough to fight chasers?
I guess it depends on your goals. According to my beliefs, O during sex is different because it's what sex is meant to do. You are meant to O during sex because sex is effective at procreation and unification when O occurs.
I also personally believe that it only counts as a relapse if you sorta meant it to be one. For example - is a wet dream a relapse? If you're working hard and an ad pops up and you suddenly O is it a relapse? No! You were trying not to O and you didn't choose to O. You were working out, dude. The human body does weird stuff. Relax. You're struggling and we're struggling with you. Keep fighting the good fight!
@Coffee Candy - well said!! What I really want is healthy sexuality, a successful LTR and freedom from sexual obsession.
My "slip" was fuelled by unhealthy fantasies (that she will be unsatisfied with me & have sex with other men). It's self-centered! It's definitely not what she wants. She wants to be with me and me only.
I NEED to be honest about that, even if it's hard and even if many don't want to hear it.
@Tryin' Hard - thank you for the support and reminding me that we are all trying hard!
I always get stuck on the question - did I try hard enough? I resisted O's for nearly half a year, so I could have resisted this time too, right? Did I set myself up for a fall by not trying hard enough to resist fantasies?
I know what you mean. That's good, though. We need to examine ourselves and our triggers and if immense guilt can help us remember for the future, in a sense I guess the fall was worth it. (Doesn't change that it was a relapse, but it is better than failing being the end all and be all) My prayers are with you!
Comments on Profile Post by +TenPercent