Any advice will be very helpful at this stage..

Hello guys. I have been addicted porn for 14 years. At first, it was curiosity that drives me to use porn. Pleasurable sensations, plenty of porn on the internet. As years passed it became an addiction, an underground thought of mind. The way of thinking has changed. performance in studies steadily come down to a point where I am standing now and that is the worst thing happened because of PMO and bad health. It is hardwired to the brain and I can't even think of recovery before. I searched for a cure about this and read many articles on different sites about the side effects, started practicing meditation. But none of this is could convince my mind to do a recovery. Depression, worries, fear, pain, shame, regret, anger this is the mind's state now. I have tried reboot before but that always leads to relapse of 4-5 times a day and shame, regret that. Now I feel if I don't stop this addiction here it would consume me. Few weeks before I had a dream implies that.

Now 11 days passed and I felt urges, some physical pain appear in body and bone pain. I actively block porn related thoughts with some quotes or "restricted thought" in mind. I am usually a calm person, but for the last few days, I could not find any interest in talking to people I love and I get too serious without any reason. Abstaining PMO along with thoughts of study and job drive me crazy. Mood swings become frequent.

Any advice about this will be very helpful.

 

Sometimes emotions are very hard to control. I used to keep myself occupied. I'm doing good now but I fear a relapse when the mindset and motivation fade away after small success.
Thanks for the motivation @goodnice 2.0

 

thank you. I'm staying strong.