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Feeling stuck

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Struggling wife, May 29, 2019.

  1. May 29, 2019 #1
    Struggling wife

    Struggling wife New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,
    I'm a wife of a porn addict. He had been using porn and online chat/masturbation rooms for our entire marriage. He was sober for most of the 1.5 years since he first told me. We downloaded accountability software on all devices.then he went to college. I got no bad reports up until 2 months in when he went on a binge of porn, in the evening and the next morning.what prompted it was I sent him a topless photo of myself and that night he turned to porn and watching other women. He then tried to lie when I told him I'd received reports. A week later he went on Pinterest to look at naked photos and tried to download an app that live streams. Again he was not honest about it.
    I feel so betrayed and feel I can give up on sex in our marriage. If I have to share my husband with other women I do not feel he really loves me, and that he is more physically attracted to other women. We only call now and argue. He always gets defensive and is failing his exam.
    I feel the only thing to do is cut of contact with my husband until he gets home in 2 months and hope he does not cheat on me. I want him to pass his exams and I am only causing him more stress.
    I cry all the time and feel hopeless. I don't believe deep down he wants to change, he is trying for me. And that is why he has gone back to his old habits.
    Has anyone been through a similar situation? Do you think I'm doing the right thing?
     
    Struggling wife, May 29, 2019
    Struggling wife, May 29, 2019
    #1
  2. Jun 2, 2019 #2
    Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    I'm so sorry this has happened to you and you must feel absolutely devastated. Maybe it's reasonable to spend these months apart; perhaps it will be a wake up call for him. As a wife dealing with a very similar situation I can say that pleading to his good nature doesn't really help. Also calling and yelling with your husband will probably only make you the bad person in his twisted, sick mind. So really, take care of you as much as you possibly can and teach him that any access to you goes through an emotional zipper that zips from the inside. Only you control it and he (or the person he has become) has no access, as long as he is treating you like this. He will not change because you want it, he will only change when he realize that he is ruining his life.

    Have you gone through therapy? The more you open up to other people, the easier it will get. Don't ever forget that you are never alone, there is always people that are there for you. Journal, ask questions, vent, reach out. No issue is too insignificant and no question is stupid.
     
    Lilla_My, Jun 2, 2019
    Lilla_My, Jun 2, 2019
    #2

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