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IS IT ONLY ME?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Aug 5, 2019.

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  1. Aug 5, 2019 #1
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hi

    I am on my 1 year 7 months no p streak. i m'ed few times in between (without p). there are a few problems i want to discuss with you brothers struggling like me. here we go.

    Problem #1: i dont know why but whenever i stand in front of mirror and look at myself i feel like a f**k and i imagine myself as a ugly person. i change to someone else i dont remain me anymore. this troubles me especially before going outdoors. i really cant go out of the house without peeking into the mirror first.

    Problem #2: i cant properly m. i need something sexual either to look (which is basically p) or to think (thoughts). if i m without p and thoughts i feel like wasting time and dont have the energy even to finish. i always find myself thinking sexual just before m'ing.

    Problem #3: i think VERY much! my mind has turned to a movie theatre. i am always thinking something, either sexual or clean. this is the reason i go out of the reality easily.

    Problem #4: and this is my biggest problem. i treat m'ing as a very common thing. most of the day i am hard (when i shower, when i sleep and when i study). i cant concentrate on my work. when i sit for studying i get distracted very easily and feel stuck.

    If anyone out there facing same things then please tell me. share your thoughts.
    thanks!
     
    Deleted Account, Aug 5, 2019
    Deleted Account, Aug 5, 2019
    #1
  2. Aug 5, 2019 #2
    Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Hey Rockyz, fantasy is a P'sub. You've filled your mind with so much porn imagery that you are able to run a porn in the "theatre" of your mind. If your consistently using fantasy while you MO then you are still addicted. You might need to give up M and after some recovery time try to find a real life partner.
     
    Carbon Icon, Aug 5, 2019
    Carbon Icon, Aug 5, 2019
    #2
    Darren hutto and clapas like this.
  3. Aug 5, 2019 #3
    clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    It's hard to say what can help you. I will try:
    I think you have low self-esteem. I would focus on things that I am good at and be sincere and devoted to it.
    You need to see the difference between actual sexual desire and lust. What you describe sounds more like lust, I might be wrong.
    Have you tried meditation? It may take a while to make an effect. And after you start doing it, sometimes it will feel like makes things worse. At least that is my impression. But worth doing in the long term.
    Excuse me for the extreme scenario, but suppose you have a child and someone kill them. Would you have an erection at that moment? Your mind —either consciously or subconsciously– is probably focusing on sex too much, like in OCD.

    All the best to you bro, keep fighting.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2019
    clapas, Aug 5, 2019
    clapas, Aug 5, 2019
    #3

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