Keep Scores of Loves - NOT Hatreds

Special times require special measures.

At times, we need to keep scores to remind us of progress.

At Nofap, we are off to a wrong start. We keep counting days we DON'T do something. We keep checking off days when we don't do something, as if we have a scoreboard for failures we haven't committed - a good attempt with the negative, wrong logic. In another word, we use the avoidance of evils instead of the embrace of love to define how human we are.

After tons of trails and errors, I found that the key to a permanent healthy mindset to keeping score is, for better or worse, to keep score of loves. The embrace of loves.

How much we love ourselves today? It matters so much because now the points actually ARE what we earn today. Points could be as small as (points varied as you see fit):

1. Did I eat a serving of fruits and veges today? 2 points
2. Did I get a good sweat today? 2 points
3. Did I take some supplements to support my health? 1 point
4. Did I floss? 1 point
5. Did I meditate? 2 points
6. Did I read a bit more? 1 point
7. Did I at least get a task done at work? 1 point

As stupid as it sounds, they serve as hundreds of bits of positive things we do everyday regardless of how insignificant they are. When we keep the scores of loves, we fill ourselves with loves and supports. When we have that, wonderful things start to happen:

1. You automatically start calling or texting people you love more.
2. You automatically sleep and wake up feeling better.
3. You automatically start to talk to strangers more.
4. You automatically start to complete more tasks.
5. You automatically watch less movies.
6. Most importantly, you automatically watch less porn (which is the whole point of Nofap).

As a matter of fact, when your scores of loves are so high everyday (you did sports, talked loved ones, did a performance, a presentation, helped out a friend), you are cured EVEN IF you fapped that day (pretty low chance given the awesome day). It doesn't matter how much LESS you fap or other negatives things. How much you love yourselves is what matters the most EVERY SINGLE DAY!

Keep scores of loves, and may peace keep you.

-Jing

 

It can work depending on how you do it.

 

I used a spreadsheet for three years counting. A good start to have. True that it can go both ways, but it's the mindset that start to change us towards better self.