My Success Journal (511+ days!)

Thanks, my friend, trying to resist in these lonely times!
Instead of urges to watch porn, I am starting to have urges to meet a real girl and start a relationship.
But I can't even go out at the moment, so I have to wait.

 

Day 441, 18/01/2021

Hi everyone, again after a lot.
This quarantine is really testing me out.
I let myself go a little bit in this period (junk food, no exercising, unhealthy habits), but I am slowly getting back on track.
I am reading a lot and preferring it to games or binging to Netflix.
I hired a personal trainer to wake me up, and gonna train two times per week.
Back to studying, I have an exam on the 5th but don't really know if I can do it, we will see.

Lately, I fell back into porn, for a day, watching some videos here and there.
I powered up my blockers, this time I cannot bypass it anymore.

It has been a weak period for everyone, I would say.
It's cold outside and we're cold inside.
I am experiencing very little libido for going out and meet girls, which I experienced way more in summer.

Finally started working again on myself. Restarted taking care of my self-image, getting ready for the end of lockdown.
Before being able to find a girl to stay with, I need to stay well with myself first.
I will keep living with my inner self before I'll find myself ready for something.
I also believe in faith, destiny will make me meet someone, one day, and I'll be ready for it.

Hope everyone is taking care here, good luck y'all.

Peace!

 

Day 443, 20/01/2021

Finally worked out yesterday. Slept more than usual, feeling a bit slack today.
I even did a skincare, which I hadn't done for months.

This is a pretty emotional period.
I find myself listening to indie love music during the day.
Thinking about some girls and events of summer, which I miss I lot.
Quarantine is making it worse, no girls on the street and no way to interact with them.

Restarting taking care of myself like I used to do.
I will get out of this emotional state, which I embrace anyway.

I found myself a bit lonely, but I think some real friends could make it better.

 

451 days, 27/01/2021

Finally back on track, working out as hell. Found the concentration to study and the time for myself.
When I got free time I prefer reading books and watching movies with family instead of isolating myself with games and socials.

We are also starting to get out more, here you always can, with a mask etc.
But the fact is that sometimes outside there's nothing to do. Bars and restaurants are closed and there's nothing interesting for a teenager.
One day we will go back to university and will finally be able to do more and more activities.
This covid period is going to end, as long as bad weather and January depression.

It will be a bright 2021, or at least a bright February

 

3 days, 31/03/2021

After a record of 511 days, I fell.
I had two separate streaks for M and PO, and that convinced me that I could behave like a 500+ veteran and experiencing those benefits even if I was watching porn from time to time.
I fell with some cams show, nothing to say about that, falling is too easy.

But now I am restarting with a single streak, I am on day 3.
I came 4 times in two days and now I don't really know If my benefits are still there.

I got a lot of brain fog, I don't feel as energic and fit as before, can't stick that much with diet and exercise.
But my confidence is still there, I can walk with my open chest and feel like a boss,
but from time to time I get shy and I am not that brave as before.

I consider it the beginning of another great adventure, I will finally see again the benefits of a complete streak on my body and mind.

All I reached in these two years won't get lost, I changed a lot and I'll keep changing.

 

I haven't masturbated for that long but fell back into porn a lot.

 

Day 5, 3/04/2021
Thanks for your support, guys.

Today I finally worked out. Falling back into porn made me slack a lot but I'm back on track.
Working for a great body for summertime.
I wanna be the best version of myself, better and better day after day.
And I'll do it.
My progress didn't get erased. My life is officially changed, I would never come back to the PMO habits I had two years ago.
And it could only improve my life.

 

Thanks Mate, miss you too!

 

Day 6, 13/04/2021

after some rainy days, the sun started shining again, literally.
These good days make it easier for me to keep on doing what I am doing.
I am feeling much happier lately than I was during winter (god, I hate that season).

I will keep training.
Now I am currently bulking to gain some muscles, then I will cut in the summer for greater definition.
This year, with the help of a PT, I finally changed the way I see health and fitness.
No more fasting, no more sacrifices, no more looking for abs and skinny body types.
Now I am happy with my great muscles, I am satisfied with what I am eating, and feel so much healthy.

What about academics?
Well, from computer engineering, I just went to economics.
I felt like it wasn't for me, too boring.
Economics suits me better, I feel like I have the soft skills to become a great manager or businessman.
But at least I understand what I am studying and motivated to study it.

What about social media?
I reinstalled it, but I limit its use with iPhone Using Time.
I even posted a pic, and making my profile looking more appealing trying to get in contact with some girls on there.
I personally think that for a teenager, Instagram is the new Tinder, a great portfolio of who you are and what you do.
I like talking to friends I didn't use to talk to, keeping in contact just by answering some stories is way easier than trying to start a conversation by scratch.

What about books and stuff?
I am reading those too, currently Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport.
It embraces what I always thought about nowadays technologies and will help me fight even better all 21st-century addictions.

What about your streak?
Well, I am not so sad about it. It's the time to begin again like a Phoenix.
Lately, we set new wifi at home. Along with greater connection, there is the possibility to set some porn blockers for all the devices connected to that wifi.
Along with my blockers, this new mechanism avoids me to look for other devices in the house where I could search some porn.
This was a great discovery and a great plus for my current streak.

 

Day 11, 18/04/2021

everything's doing fine.

I am entertaining multiple hookups and conversations on instagram with girls of my area.
I am building everyday a better instagram profile for having a portfolio of myself girls can see.

I am training to avoid being a simp. I hate what they do and I am trying to introduce in my life a different concept of women.

Women are a surplus, they mustn't be the only reason why you live.
Your life must be perfect as it is with no girls by your side.

You must workout, you must eat healthy, you must study, you must read, you must improve yourself everyday, but for yourself, not for girls.

Girls will surely come after, but they are a surplus, something to enrich yourlife more than it currently is.

And trust me, girls can notice if your life will be based on them, or if they must conqueer the time of a busy man.
They feel your indipendence, and they feel your simpness.

So go and change the way you live, go and change you see women and become an indipendent man, well seen by other successful men and by women, eventually.

Peace!

 

Sure, that's the main goal, thanks!

 

Day 12, 19/04/2021

tonight I dreamed about kissing a girl I know.
She has always been just a friend and it was strange at the beginning.
Then myself in the dream just enjoyed the time and it felt so good and so real, just like real life kisses.

Fortunately I haven't experienced any wet dream, and I didn't ejaculate.

But this morning I felt the need to watch porn, to go and express my libido and my strong hornyness.
But I didn't, or simply I just couldn't.

Even tho I am alone at home, my blockers are so strong that I can't do anything about it.
Also, my new Wifi connection supports an internet filter for every porn sites, and every device connected to my home wifi is practically 100% safe, since I cannot connect those devices to a phone router.
Also, the only device that can connect to 4g is my iPhone, but I made sure there's a filter even on that, with a password only my parents know.

I am feeling pretty safe at the moment, I just studied a lot this morning.

But lately I am thinking a lot about girls, about some future summer hookups I will make.
And the covid situation makes it even worse, forcing you to breakout mentally and just evading from the reality with your imagination, just like a prisoner.

At least in my zone we passed from a red zone to an orange one.
That means I can finally return going out with my friends, get a haircut, and possibly going to study with some friends outside in some local libraries.

I'll keep you updated, peace.

 

Day 15, 21/04/2021

half a month of abstaining.
My blockers are so great that I can't bypass them in any way.
Lately I am studying a lot for future exams in economics, and I really like these subjects, compared to engineering ones.

I improved my diet with my personal trainer and added some carbs and proteins to bulk even more.
I am training well and feeling fitter than ever.

This period is so smooth!

Peace.

 

Day 16, 22/04/2021

Woke up in a rainy day, started feeling sad and depressed.
I always end up thinking about past actions that I did, bad for most of the times,
thinking about the future, what will I do in the summer,
thinking about real girls (that's a consequence of stopping using porn) and what should I improve about myself to finally get one.

I know I must get rid of all these thoughts but it's just impossibile, especially in quarantine, especially at home, especially alone.

Most of the guys here struggle with loneliness cause they get horny and lose their streaks.

But I struggle with complete loneliness cause I have to fight with my thoughts.

The only things that keep me safe in these days is thinking about my new adventure with NoFap and how I am doing so great at it,
and my fitness adventure that I started a few months ago and that its making me look and feel better than ever.

Even if now we can go out, and its orange zone here, my friends are just studying and staying at home.
Like this quarantine really changed the way we live, we are no more enthusiastic about going out and meeting new people.
I would like to but it's like we just can't.

I know I have to be strong, but I miss so much old days, how happy I was in 2019.

Mentally speaking these times are harder than war times.