Peace of Mind

It's such a great feeling. So many people have no idea.

 

I currently live with my mother, I'm 25 and I'm studying, but I'm moving to Japan and that's gonna be my no comming-back for sure. The thing is that before NoFap I would masturbate and use anything at hand to clean the mess, be it paper, socks, boxers or even fucking t-shirts that I would use various days on a row till they were fucking cardboard (I'm not disgusted at my own fluids, but I know it's disgusting)... So I always was worried about hiding those next morning (no time for the washer machine), and I was never at peace knowing that she could find that, and if I left to College and I realized that I had not hiden the boxers I used the night before I would simply skip classes and jump back on the bus to go home and clean it.
Whenever I went to the toilet instead (for paper), I would always open the door and check if there was someone there, and then I rushed to the toiled with semen on my hands (pathetic).
When the urges came I would masturbate no matter who was home, and I have no lock on the door, so I would do it under the blankets, very stressful situation, and sometimes my mother would come in and I just pretended to be watching something.
I would also never let anyone on my phone, just in case I had any porn opened (it was transgendered person porn, so double shame).
Now (day 26) I live at peace, I don't mind anyone going in my room or using my phone, I have nothing to hide, not even when answering to what I did for the last couple of hours, because previously I would have to lie to avoid saying I had been masturbating.