The beginning of the End

Hello dear Readers,

My name is Chris Aurelius Denver. I am currently a nineteen year old young man and I live in the Netherlands.

My masturbation habit started at the age of twelve, and the inevitable porn habit followed a year later. So that would make me thirteen years old when it started. I had just entered high school.

PMO was always a way to relieve stress after a day at school. In those years I was being picked on and my confidence was even lower than what I would qualify as rock bottom nowadays. I did have friends and my family has always been there for me so I never did derail completely. Still, I would binge daily for almost three years, and it was beginning to show in my accomplisments. Grades dropped, just as motivation and energy levels. I was on a downwards slope, and deep down I realized this.

I began searching for ways to develop myself from the young age of fifteen years old. That's when I came across a NoFap post on the internet. No idea anymore what the name of the post was but it was obviously against the use of porn and masturbation, I remember it talked about NoFap as a catalyst for self-improvement. This post stuck with me and I decided to try this "NoFap" challenge, not knowing how difficult it would be.

That is where my journey really started. Now, four years later, I still haven't beaten the addiction, but it was one hell of a catalyst. My longest streak was thirty days, but I would make it to seven days regularly. In those four years I forged a personality for myself, started building on the life I wanted to live. Built habits (sports, reading, contemplation), and broke them (smoking, drinking excessevily and gaming). I've met and befriended amazing people. Even had multiple relationships with kind and loving partners.

Yet after these great things, the NoFap challenge was always too difficult for me. My addiction got even worse, searching for darker and heavier porn every week. This addiction has been a blanket over a fourth of my life now, and I want it destroyed, deleted from my life.

This is why I joined this community. After so many years of lurking here, my silence has finally been broken, and damn it feels good.

My starting parameters are: No pornography of any kind, soft or hard. No masturbation. I wanted to do no ejaculation but because I am dating someone, that's out of the question sadly. I started today, September 18, at 12:00 o'clock.

Feel free to speak with me. I will try to update a journal every evening, that's when I'll also probably respond to alerts and such.

Best regards,

Chris A. Denver

 

Thank you very much for your kind wishes Life!
And as Dutchman to Dutchman: Wij zullen door blijven vechten, opgeven kennen wij niet!

 

Hello Lott,
Thank you for those words, they made me think about the last few years, and you're right. My life has already improved so much. Yet I believe self-improvement, and with that progress, is a duty and goal on its own. But we must not be ashamed if perfection is not achieved.
Oh, and also thank you for telling me about the 12 step saying, they are pretty inspirational!

 

I joined the challenge, the counter is a lot more to my taste than the normal one!