wow i joined this forum 850 days ago and nothings changed

ffs this morning i relapsed.... i gradually started losing the morning schedule... which was wake up with phone on airoplane mode jump striaght out of bed and do yoga, instead last few days iv layed in bed played on tinder then forced myself to get up to do yoga, im leaving too much time where i can replase if i do it like that, mornings are the worst for me, im at my weakest mentally and kind of hornyist.....so im going to delete tinder and get back to same morning yoga schedule.... today i feel shocking and groggy so mad how much wanking drains me, i actually cant believe everyones fap hangover on planet is like this, does anyone know why it effects some people more then others? i always picture these really alpha guys like tyson and apparenty conner megregor fuks as much as possible before fights,,,,,mad how it doesnt drain these guys like it does me,...

 

0/90

 

cos i think some guys have naturally more sexual capacity, i mean if you think of it in cave man days, there is bount to be more alpha dudes, mike tyson is prob pne of most alpha men in last 30 years i can think of, someone told me he was fukcing 20-30 girls every day, i mean come on ..... sure hes drianed after that , but i literally come once and if i come a second time in a day im dead forever these days lol..... and also conner megregor goes out and wins fights at heighets level after sex lol, i would beable to fight my way out of a paper bag today

 

1 day 12 hours since i last wanked, man im a total sex love addict, i get so lost in chasing girls, getting lost in setting up rondevous with girl, the whole process is just an escape, im not actually bothered about meeting them that much, deleated tinder which i guess is a big start.,... happy new year guys
1/90

 

day 1 again i had a double relapse, seems quite a familiar story with me, im struggling here though guys,.... like i dont feel like i can really express whats going on or have anyone else really understand this addiction...

so heres pattern .....

i chase women on tinder on street where ever .... they reject me, or ends up feeling too much effort or i fuk them all of which is addiction coming from the unhealthy place in my body, its not a healthy meet a girl, its purley to get in her knickers,.... the real hot ones i dont feel i deserve so i avoid them, but yet the ones below the hot ones i dont think are good enough to be my gf, so once iv banged them i get bord of them...

i was in a relationship over summer.... but whilst going through this sex addiction.... i wouldnt say my biggest problem is porn or fapping i would say its those two things and the bigger picture, i replace an intimate living relationship with sex in some sort of way.... obvs the porn is the most unhealthist.... but where so i start to really pull the roots out of this shit man, i can only think its with quitting orgasms during sex or masturbation, so heres what im going to do... you see as i right that i know what i need to do, i need to cut every contact out of my phone and stop chasing women or having wanks or watching porn for a while, but the very hardest thing for me to do is commit to stopping persueing these leads/phone numbers in my phone book, its like i cant commit to it man.... becuase i know it fills my empty life...

 

hey man , apreciate your support but some huge assumtions in here, like its hard for me to share when infact il openly share negative facts about myslelf almost in a detrementing way often in life , and no its not hard to admit stuff like this to myself, as im super hard on myself.....

also this is not the bottom of my life, it was 4 5 weeks before this post before i went to hoffman process, since then things are actually much better.... im not punishing myslef anywhere near as much, and have started to beable to stick to some healthy life routines like moring yoga and afternoon meditation for last month

as far as the ejacualtion goes im on day one again, i just need to quit the porn and wanking for now aiming for 1000 days

1/1000

peace

 

I’m back on this after wanking to porn and having no interest in meeting girls in real world after it 0/365 porn 0/30 fap (if I don’t get sex within the 30 days if I do NoFap) will update every day