I feel like dying. I need help please...

The only thing i can suggest is that you look into therapy.

Go to the doctor, tell them you have depression and get referred then you can go to a therapist.

If it's a deep rooted addiction that you have been struggling to quit for 3 years as your title says yes you need help.

Getting help isn't weakness, it's strength.

Do it.

 

The only solution to quit this addiction is rewinding your brain to its natural state, by fighting your urges and not running away from them. You fap because you see women as sexual objects and whenever you are horny you go to porn sites and fulfill your needs with pleasure. That's what more than 50millions of people in the world do, but why do they do that? Because they see at women like some horny treasure that they need to have sex with or see them having sex by any means else they can not do anything else. It is because people have been brainwashed with sexual images since they were kids. We live in a highly sexualed world where kids grow up and at 13 years old they have easy access to porn even when their parents told them not to watch it. They watch it by hiding themselves, while their parents are sleeping or something.
I started at 13/14 years old and I remember I would watch porn hiding until 19 years old when sometimes I have been caught by my parents, and yeah it was hella embarassing. I would tell them that it is normal, I am grown and this is something that everyone do. Well fuck that, it is NOT normal, we were NOT made to fap everyday and this is something everyone do because they have been brainwashed to do that by this fucking highly sexualised world where women are seen as sexual objects.

You need to go back to your natural state, NOW. You need to see women for what they are. You need to realise that their butts and breasts are something they are born with! You have a butt as well, they have it as well, for ONE reason: Shitting. Evolution shaped the butt of the female like that to attract the male. The reason that shape attracts male? There's no objective reason! It is just how the evolution is made. But wait a second, why should I be attracted by a female just for the simple fact that it is made like that? So that means if we were all nudes, we could not even talk at each other but rather have sex everytime? That's just pathetic. We are BORN nudes. You have been brainwashed by thinking that a nude woman is some self-hornyness treasure that you CAN NOT see else you fap everyday. NO. That's how women are made. Breasts to feed the baby born and butts to shit, just like you have a butt to shit as well. Now, a nude woman is something you would like to see only in intimacy, that's right. But that doesn't mean that if you see one you have no connection with, you fap. I repet, it's how her body is made. You can not be attracted to her for the sole fact she's built like that. Your brain activates the attraction and the need to have sex ONLY if there are contacts between YOU and the nude WOMAN and you both have sex on bed. That's when your libido explodes and you can enjoy REAL sex.

If you are just seeing a sexy woman trying to tease you in TV or on the internet, then tell yourself "FUCK YOU, I know you want attention, but I won't be attracted to you just because you are built like that. You have a butt: Oh big deal, I have a butt as well, you use that to shit just like I do. You have breasts, yeah and what should I do with them? You feed the baby born, I know it's usage. You have a pretty face: It's a face? Just like mine, so what's the big deal?" That! See reality for what it is, and stop having filters in front of your eyes. Of course a beautiful woman is beautiful, but you can appreciate her beauty without being horny when you see her!

Next important step is to train your libido! You need to watch sexual videos and sexy pics in order to rewind your brain. While doing so, you'll be trying to control your penis erection and your libido, by blocking it when you see sexy videos and tell yourself "what's the big deal, they are humans having sex. I am not the one having sex so why would I get horny. This is just a damn video/pic. NO sexy woman will make me attracted unless I decide so".

You can see reality for what it is. You are not automatically supposed to get attracted whenever you see a cute girl.

I've masterized my own libido and I can see at any nude girl, sexy scenarios without getting erected because I OFF my libido. If I am on bed with a girl, then I ON it and let the party begin. You can do it too, willpower is the key.

 

Let me try and explain this from a basic psychological point of view.

Addiction to PMO = meeting an unmet "need"

What is that need, for most of us, it's intimacy, connection, sexual release, can also be a form of distraction, dissociation.

There is a reason for this, my belief is that it's normally some form of attachment trauma early in life.

Attachment trauma CANNOT be resolved by simply quitting an addiction. Not long term.

Why do we see people who are over a year out who are still having symptoms, who end up relapsing and binging? Or who become obsessed and addicted to nofap itself? There is SO much of this.

It's because doing nofap does not heal trauma!

This doesn't go for everyone but for those who simply cannot go a day, etc etc etc. Who are having severe issues such as depression, anxiety, massive symptoms due to a dissociation tool being taken away, willpower is not enough, and nor does it serve them to become attatched and addicted to nofap instead.

No, they need to deal with the issue at hand.

Heal the trauma, and the addiction will resolve itself.

it's that simple.

 

If you feel like there is no way out and you clearly cannot do this with willpower alone. It is vital that you get rid of all your devices that you watch Porn on. Get rid of them! Or put them somewhere you can't use them for a while, or at least block porn on all of them and throw away the password or get someone else to make the password for you, tell them to write it down and hide it. Hide it at your brothers house, your sisters house, round your grandparents... anything. You need to get porn out of your life and this is a great way to do it. If you can't access it, you can't use it.

Do this and you will be surprised at how easy it is.

Porn is so accessible, you can literally get it at the tap of a button wherever you are. People often use the alcoholic analogy. It's like an alcoholic walking around all day with a bottle of vodka in his inside pocket. He will be able to resist it for a while, but sooner or later he's gonna want it. If it wasn't in his pocket however, and he couldn't access it, then he wouldn't drink it. Just like Porn. Get that shit out of your life.

 

There are some great answers here, all have valid points to make. I'll add mine.
I think firstly you need to continue to think back to why you decided to start the journey. If that reason is still valid then think back on it and that will help
Secondly, you need to make access far more difficult. Install blocking software without knowing the password so you absolutely can't override it. Delete apps on your phone, clear out your bookmarks.
You need to deal with the underlying reason you can't live without this, know your trigger and avoid it. For me it was a combination of lack of intimacy, boredom and availability of the source. I can't really deal to well with the intimacy problem, but I can control my boredom but doing other things and I can take away the availability. I took the locks off the doors in the rooms in my house, so I can't lock myself away, I changed my internet filters on my wifi and my phone and I deleted apps from it. I also do something that I haven't seen here on the site. I wear an elastic band around my wrist. If I feel the urge I snap it, I find that bit of sharp pain 'wakes me up' and forms a habit of saying no
It isn't easy my friend, but like any addiction if you work at it, it will get easier.

 

Hey brother, first read the post just above mine from sparkywantsnoPMO - this is extremely valuable advice and important resources for your situation.

Are there any adults in your life who you trust and could talk to? A relative, coach, friend, youth pastor, school guidance counselor? If you get to a point where you are thinking seriously about ending your life, please reach out to someone right away, or call 911 and get to a hospital, they can help you until you can think more clearly.

I have a question for you. I have a problem with PMO that I've been trying to overcome for over 30 years. I cannot seem to overcome it more than a few weeks at most. My question is, do you think I deserve to die because of this? Should I be executed because of my problem?

I don't think so. PMO has made my life harder than it might have otherwise been. It's contributed to problems in my relationships, problems emotionally with depression and anxiety, spiritual problems. But despite these problems, I have had times of joy and accomplishment. I have a family and some friends who care about me. My life, and the world, would not be better if I died because of my failure to overcome PMO.

So my friend, don't even think about giving yourself the "death penalty" for something like this. It isn't worth it. With or without PMO, you are important and valuable and you have years of adventure ahead of you in all sorts of areas of life while you figure this thing out.

I am glad you were born and I don't even know you. Be good to yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself. I am cheering for you and have no doubt many others are as well.

Find the joy in this day. It's there.

 

Let's fight together!

 

man, you can start with the easy choice to quit that forever. Then you'll how your life responds.

 

Then treat it as a process. One day, one week at a time.

 

You dont need no therapy bud, just some friends thats it and if you think my answer can relate to your situation, feel free to open this thread
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/whos-on-day-0-just-relapsed.116692/
It helped me to reach 30 days. Some friends thats it. Come on, get up and make some friends. Some APs are all you need

 

Dude hang in there. You're definitely not alone. I had those feelings too at some points. Believe me. What's been a real life saver for me is just being patient with my mind and taking 1 day at a time if not 1 hour some times. Also just taking joy in the simplest things I accomplish like a household chore or spending a little time at the gym. It counts.