my introduction story.

hey everyone, guess im here for the same reason as everyone else to stop the addiction to porn/masturbation.

currently im 26 and started with pmo i guess in my early teens like most people. my parents had a computer and internet back when i was younger so i guess thats how it all started, and eventually got a handme down computer for games which also allowed me to the world of porn.

as i got into jr and highschool discovering girls more and all the fun associated with that i found myself more and more into the pmo and never the real thing with girls, due to not being popular or shy etc. eventually started having sex and shit in highschool and continued more with pmo at home.

fast forward to after highschool i started working a night job which didnt allow for much of a social life and oportunity to meet up with girls and at this time it was 2009 smartphones were around internet was good, there was chat sites etc to meet girls it was so easy to go on sites and "sext" them online which i did, got pictures from girls and got off on that, and would make plans to meet up and hookup but it never happened cause im shy and not really interested in sex with someone im not mentally into.

in 2010 i moved out into a apartment, having freedom, internet and able to get girls over which i did. but finding myself in my time when not working masturbating excessively multiple times a day, to the point where my lower back would hurt, i had no energy. i had more online sex friends then real girls i could hang out with.

and fastforward to the past couple years, ive had some good sex with some girls i was dating and was with someone for 8 months, and after the breakup i found myself back in the pmo addiction. untill october of last year met a girl, we hit it off started dating sex was great multiple times whenever we were together and had no desire for pmo. untill january of this year she went on a trip for a week and i was back to pmo casue she was gone but it got to a point where i would msg my old sexting girls and make plans to hookup, and dirty talk only in a means to get myself off i wouldnt physically cheat. and when she got back i was in the transition of moving into a house where she would be moving into aswell and in february we were living together sex was good, it wasnt nearly as much as it used to be, mainly due to stress from work, being tired from work and id started back watching porn and sexting girls to get off. wed had conversations how we need to have more sex and it helped.

and come june she was on my computer and found some msgs on fb from when she was gone on her trip, she left me and we eventually got back after a couple days i spilled my heart out about how i have a problem and i can stop etc. and i found myself going back to the same porn and sexting, never with her tho and she said talk me like that instead of other girls but i never did. a week and a half ago she was on my computer again snooping and found a sent email replying to a craigslist ad to dirty talk on kik and i sent a picture of myself, all in the intentions of getting off. she left me again. and this time for good.

last weekend i started reading up on the whole excessive pmo and realized i DO have a problem and it is an addiction. and so i called a sex therapist where i live and i cant get in for about a month but im trying to take steps to figure this out, we both love each other and talk about a future and being married but i need to figure this addiction out. we still talk which is good the door isnt closed and ive explained more of this pmo addiction to her of what i understand of it. ive been reading on NoFap and a little on your brain on porn. and as of thursday the 24th i havent mastubated once it is incredibly hard, ive unfollowed any girls i had on instagram, deleted snapchat, and been trying to keep busy this weekend so i dont resort to pmo.

this is incredibly hard with technology and the easy access of porn everywhere. guess im here for peoples help and support in understanding more of this addiction so i can better myself for a better life for myself. and hopefully with this girl. is this addiction breakable? can someone go x amount of time and clear their mind and not turn back to it or is it a never ending cycle of stopping for time and starting back up.

sorry for the long story and thanks to the people who take time to read it.

 

Well I've started by deleting any chat apps like kik, deleted my email address I used for everything so I won't have any porn on it hidden somewhere, did a clean install on my desktop and will be packing up and also a clean install on my laptop which I will only be using for legit purposes. Cleaned everything on my phone. Signed up on here and will be going to a sex therapist at least once to see if it helps. Also have a app for counting days of NoFap

I didn't realize the huge negative impact it has on a person and seeing people's success stories of feeling better after a certain amount of time is motivating.