We trigger ourselves

Through all my relapses I've found out that the only one responsible for them has been me. Casually looking at porn thumbnails without opening them saying "I'm not really watching porn" Then surfing youtube and typing BBW or other searches that lead to women in bathing suits or twerking. One way or another I was feeding my addiction by several means and ended up relapsing because the urges were too strong.

The approach I have now is to avoid all triggers but not punish myself if I come across something triggering. To prevent myself from even looking at a woman in a bathing suit seems overkill, I simply don't search for it, if I encounter it then it's not my fault.

Yesterday a friend sent me a video of a news woman taking her clothes off as she gave the news, here I had two choices, either I watched the whole video or watched it until I realized what it was and stop. I stopped but didn't punish myself for it, all I did was type LOL to my friend and that's it.

I guess my advice is, don't punish yourself from what you can't control, as long as we surf the internet we will never be 100% porn free since porn is everywhere, but at least what we can control is searching for it, as long as you don't search it, you won't be triggered all the time, and if you are, stop all activity immediately and search for your way to calm down, once the urge is gone you feel good to continue. Hope this helps.

 

Thank you so much for this post Latinboy! It's interesting how similar male and female brains are wired. Of course, for a woman like me it's other things I watch on YouTube that trigger me, but it's the same kind of neuropathways that lead us into action. Just about an hour ago, I experienced something similar. In spite of my very best intentions (after having MO'd three times from last night around 1 AM until this morning), I went back to YouTube to watch some more - this time mainly massage videos (i. e. men massaging women). After clicking many times and edging at the same time, I saw an email coming in, which distracted me from my usual goal to finish myself up. This really calmed down my horniness and I was able to stop the process alltogether! I'm thankful for this incident - it's very encouraging. I know I'm still not exactly where I would like to be; and I'm aware that there will be more temptations, but I don't want to give in anymore!