Is this normal?

You will not find a girl to date if all you do is stare at her butt.

 

I am 26 yrs let me give you an advice. Stop watching porn for yourself not for someone else.

 

Hey mate,
you're 11 days into this, why don't you learn something about you and do the 90 days thing.
You're 17, so there will be plenty of time to to get a girl. It's more about self control now than anything else.

About buttocks: We're men. We appreciate nice butts and boobs, but the challenge will change the way you percieve women and their character will come first.

 

Good call mate. Hope you find a lot of strength along the way and learn good things about yourself.

 

Firstly, it is a great thing that you have embarked on this journey to get rid of the bad habits and bring about change in your life. That being said, my advice would be to not to delay anything that you can do now to the future such as 'trying to get a girlfriend'. Your brain will tell you that you should take action at a later stage because currently you are recovering, but I would say that you should at least take action and try to approach girls in order to build-up that 'muscle' within you in order to make life easier for yourself in the future when you would be potentially cured of porn addiction.

The idea is to start taking action now mate. You get out of your house everyday I presume. When you look at those beautiful girls around, instead of just looking at their butt, at least approach one girl a day. You don't have to start with anything majorly complicated. Start with directions. Ask them where the nearest Starbucks is. Of course you might be not going to Starbucks, but start with something that would sort of have a snowball-effect in terms of confidence. Approach a girl a day and slowly progress from asking directions to saying hi and getting to know her. Sure, you might get the odd rejection, but that is the beauty of it when you are 17. You have the perfect opportunity to desensitise your inner self to societal stigma when it comes to approaching 'random strangers';i.e. the girls in this case. You'll develop a habit of not caring what people think of you. This will help you to not only get 'a' girlfriend in the future, but multiple girlfriends, whilst you would see benefits of doing this in other areas of your life too. Confidence and charisma will be booming. Mate, the future is bright! Three words: take action now.

Cheers

 

Hey @MarcoBadj! Glad you're on here!
Keep up the good work you are doing! 12 days is a good run, and you are taking measure of how you are feeling and paying attention to the process, which will help you a great deal while breaking the habit!

To answer your questions, I have bad news, good news, and regular news:

The bad news is that a girlfriend won't cure porn for you. I can see your thinking, I think: having an outlet for your sexual energy will motivate you to keep not using porn, especially if you two are fooling around. I thought the same. But it didn't work for me, it didn't work for all the married guys on this site, none of us. See, having a girlfriend or having sex will not fix the problem because porn has not fixed the problem! Porn fills a need or a function, often something like avoidance, boredom, loneliness, an escape, doing something that feels good because you feel bad, or something similar. When you used porn, how did you feel? How did you feel right before you opened the first website, what was going through your mind? How did you feel after?

Porn has a strong link to depression and the feeling that you are worth less, making many people want the temporary good feelings of masturbation and orgasm. This can actually drive them into increased isolation, and they seek out more and more porn until they have difficulties getting erections or maintaining relationships.

The good news is there is something you can do about it. And you've already started by being on here! If you know porn is linked to feelings, you are the expert on how you are feeling, and you can learn how to change and improve your thoughts and emotions! What would you think of talking about how you are feeling and what your life is like to an accountability partner here or a counsellor where you live?

And the regular news is that looking at butts never gets old. I would not advise staring at them slack-jawed in public and at school - objectifying women is not good. A person can, however, appreciate the curved sexiness of a well-formed buttock because it is pretty much hardwired into our brain, and looking at them gets even better when it is the bum of a woman we love. Because we love her!

I would also like to tell you two things I really wish I knew in highschool:

First, because there is a lot of pressure and shame put on boys for being sexual the easiest way to lose an erection is to flex all your big muscles - squeeze those butt cheeks together, tense your legs, and flex your abs. This will draw blood away from the penis and the erection will go away. This, hopefully, will save you from some unnecessary, and frankly wrong, teasing or shaming, which leads me to the second thing...

...Sex is a good thing. Sexuality is a good thing. You are not evil, dirty, unclean, or unholy for thinking about sexual things or suddenly finding yourself attracted to certain body parts. Sex and sexuality is part of being a fully functioning healthy adult, and you are becoming a fully functioning healthy adult. That being said, there are circumstances in which sex and sexuality are better than others, so you would be wise to learn and discover what makes for a healthy sexuality, when it is appropriate for you to express yourself sexually, what consent means, and what makes for the best, most loving, most mind-blowing sex. (Hint: a willing, committed partner!)

I've kinda written a dissertation here...what do you make of all this?

 

if u doing pmo cause yure feel lonely most of the time,i will say go for it ,find a girl .get on relationship it will give u positive mind towards woman and not just saw women for her boobs and ass.And it maybe get u more motivated and determined to leave this bad habit for good.