Angry and depressed

It's good you vented your anger. If you kept it internal then all that happens is it will fester and grow just like an infection.

 

No need to apologize I'm going through the same thing as well. Totally relate able saying it's like a job interview. I keep hearing people say take up a hobby or enjoy what you do and you'll naturally meet girls but I don't really believe that would work out for me. I'm getting angry too because I feel like I'm giving women too much of my attention and it takes away from my true identity, if that makes any sense. This was a relief to type, I hope if you feel upset again to come back here and maybe we can toss around topics. Depression has consumed my life and I'm trying my best to surpass that obstacle at the moment.

 

I felt that way too. And it pissed me off while I was struggling I still took the time to help other people instead of myself. And no one helped me. I didn't know how to say no and set healthy boundaries.

Honestly I was waiting for someone to save me, because I didn't know what I needed to do or was too scared to.

Once I could see that and admit that, I am here and feel like it still sucks, but I'm doing something about it. So there is hope . I am better today than I was yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today.

I think that not knowing if what you are doing is going to lead you to where you want is frustrating . If you know what you are doing is gonna help you accomplish your goals, it takes the sting away from how shitty a situation might be at the time. And sometimes all that takes is a little faith.

 

I want to run from that feeling of someone else saving me and condition myself to the point of saying only I can truly save myself. Maybe we have to change up the tactics day by day to get around PM and slowly merge with the healthy habits. The daily triggers that pop up out of nowhere are infuriating. Believing in a better future for us is very pleasant.

 

Hey terytoughcookie,
I think uninstalling Tinder and taking a break from dating is not just a good thing, but essential.
We embark on this journey to learn self control and discover ourselves. It's wiser to do it without distractions.

 

I think it's always a good move to slow down and take a look at yourself. I've never been in the dating game because I need to discover a way to like myself or putting myself out there would be too unorganized and fake. I would like to go back to college, I've been out a year but learning has always been a great distraction for me. There is so much out there in the world I feel silly when I worry about PMO or relationships. With each day that passes I'm trying to remind myself not to be jaded and bitter because of other peoples successes.

 

I don't think everyone experiences the same exact thing in NoFap, we each go about our days totally different. Maybe I'll die alone. I worry about that too, but I'm trying to redirect that energy into slow thinking throughout hikes and other things. Life already seems so slow I never understand the people that say it flies right by. It is amazing that you want peace, however I hope you can also find peace within yourself and do not consider yourself a monster.

 

I agree with you in that everyone does experience things differently(that's what makes each of us unique).

For example my SO and I have made Saturday "our day" . Unless I have to work we spend the day together doing something and believe me on that day 12 hours can go by and it seems like one or two have passed. People can't understand why we do that but it is our way of making time to spend with each other.

When you are enjoying your time with someone your perception of time changes and I know this because before her I like you found time went by almost in slow motion at times. Now I find it is going so fast at times that you don't realize how much time has really passed.

That's why I keep suggesting people enjoy life because it is short and you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow or even later today for that matter.