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Kyrie Eleison: My Introduction

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by KyrieEleison, Aug 10, 2014.

  1. Aug 10, 2014 #1
    KyrieEleison

    KyrieEleison New Fapstronaut

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    Hello NoFap community,

    This is my first time joining so I look forward to the support, and insight offered by the group. I am a 23 year old man and am addicted to PMO, it's about every other day at this point. It's been discouraging as I have tried a number of different avenues to solve this. I have many reason I want to quit altogether. Some of them are religious some not.

    - PMO has become a primary way that I escape negative feelings and negative reality.I want to find other ways to find relief for my anxiety, loneliness, and depressive tendencies besides porn.

    - I experience a ton of guilt afterwards. Allot of it is religious shame since I am a christian. I think allot of this guilt is unwarranted and is the result of my emotional view of sexual problems being the most disgusting sort of problems. Obviously this isn't true, but our culture puts it in our heads. I think these ideas need to be confronted inside of me. However, the experience of guilt is so debilitating that when I screw up, I ended up wasting large amounts of time in my day and my motivation seriously drops. I think If I was to quit altogether it would avoid this vicious cycle, and I would be able to deal with my shame issues in a less intense state of emotions.

    - I see it as a lack of self-control on my part which I see as part of growing up - delayed gratification. I want to be a man who can put momentary pleasure off for the long term goal of fulfillment. In other wards, an adult.

    - Since I am a gay christian who believes in a conservative sexual ethic, being able to abstain from PMO is going to be one of my life's journeys and I want to be able to learn as much as I can now when I am young. Since my life could end up with me ultimately remaining single, I want to be prepared for a life of "chastity" (big word).

    - I want to be able to love others without sexualizing them.

    - I want to be able to move on and focus on other things in my life.

    - I want to be a trustworthy guide for others in the future in this area.

    So these are my motivations. Right now they are mostly negative. Which is just where I am at. Maybe in the future I will have more positive reasons :).Thanks for listening. I look forward to chatting you all more in the future.

    K.E.
     
    KyrieEleison, Aug 10, 2014
    KyrieEleison, Aug 10, 2014
    #1
  2. Aug 10, 2014 #2
    Metanoeo

    Metanoeo Fapstronaut

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    K.E.,

    Welcome to the site. That sounds like a pretty heavy load that you are carrying and you will need to take the time to sort through all of that. Know that a tenant of your faith is that you are loved and accepted, even if it feels at times like the opposite.

    The good news is that you have made a really good and wise choice to start on a path to get some healing from the PMO. It is a coping mechanism that only makes matters that much worse by isolating you, making you feel shame and despair, and robbing you from building healthy human connections.

    Pick a reasonable goal for yourself. Focus on not just stopping the behavior, but on changing your thoughts and actions to something positive. Take things one day at a time and accept the grace you need for that day. Be intentional on getting outside of yourself. Figure out a way to give someone a helping hand.

    Finally know that you are not alone and there are others struggling alongside you. Be encouraged and take a step toward freedom.

    I wish you the best,

    Metanoeo
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2014
    Metanoeo, Aug 10, 2014
    Metanoeo, Aug 10, 2014
    #2
  3. Aug 11, 2014 #3
    Once&4ALL

    Once&4ALL Fapstronaut

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    Kyrie, I am a Christian as well. As Metanoeo said, grace is a tenant of our faith that we don't control. God gives it to us freely as a gift. He loves us...period. We can't make him love us any more, nor can we make him love us any less. He leads the cheer in our victories, he feels our pain in defeat, and he knows the temptation we battle in between. The PMO monster is Satan's great us trap for boys/men - it taps one of our strongest drives at a young age, embeds itself in our mind and keeps a strangle hold on our hearts as we openly or privately hurt those we love and those relationships. God knows your heart and where you are at...ask Him day by day for grace and strength, and he will freely give it. You've jumped right in here which is one of the hardest decisions, you've been open and honest which is key. Now, read the posts daily to understand others experiences and how they may relate to you, follow all the links (starting with yourbrainonporn.com) to understand the science of the addiction that all of us here, thousands of us, are fighting side by side with you to win. There is no judgement here, only understanding and support. You are welcome to converse here or private message me if I can help you in your journey. Sexual orientation is not a barrier, nor a challenge for me. I am here to support you any way I can Man. Let's fight this battle together!
     
    Once&4ALL, Aug 11, 2014
    Once&4ALL, Aug 11, 2014
    #3
  4. Aug 11, 2014 #4
    innervoiceoflove

    innervoiceoflove Fapstronaut

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    Christian here too. Thanks for sharing some of your struggle. Hoping and praying for God's love to fill you and rain down on you (and all of us here who are struggling). Welcome.
     
    innervoiceoflove, Aug 11, 2014
    innervoiceoflove, Aug 11, 2014
    #4
  5. Aug 12, 2014 #5
    GettingMojoBack

    GettingMojoBack Fapstronaut

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    All things are possible my friend! Christian here and lover of all of people. You got this bro. No too much I can say that hasnt already been said! Say no to PMO!
     
    GettingMojoBack, Aug 12, 2014
    GettingMojoBack, Aug 12, 2014
    #5

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