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Had a massage by girl - Is this ok? Thoughts?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by seaguy44, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    Hey brothers!

    I had a massage by a girl tonight. It was awesome. I didn't have any ejaculation at all. Only precum. Which is usually normal for me during most massages by a girl anyway.

    I didn't look at porn.
    I didn't have ejaculation. Only precum. No orgasm.
    I didn't masturbate.

    That's a no PMO.

    Is this a relapse? or Is this ok? Thoughts?

    I don't feel like it's a relapse although the massage is pure heaven. She's not stuck in my mind thankfully. She's not even hot at all. It's just a girl working at a massage store.

    Thoughts, brothers? and Thanks! :)
     
    YellowPig and noonoon like this.
  2. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    Congrats on another day of nofap! Be careful with this massage stuff. Lots of things can be pmo substitutes. See what happens over the next couple days. If you have a chaser effect, you'll know that you should probably stay away or get them from males next time.

    I don't think it's a relapse though.
     
  3. Powerbeyond69

    Powerbeyond69 Fapstronaut

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    Hey are you perhaps a brother
    In a Christian organization, was just wondering? No I feel that what you had being a massage is just find. It does relieve stress & tension. My wife does it for a living, i hardly ever get a massage,or a whole lotta sex, lol!
    No worries here. You should be proud you didn't further it with p or mo. Give me a shout back if you want.
     
  4. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    Yep. I'm a Christian.
     
  5. seekingabetterlife

    seekingabetterlife Fapstronaut

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    I would say it's not OK if you're experiencing sexual excitement from it.

    Generally, for many guys (if not most), a massage would not be considered negative in a reboot. For many it would not turn them on and feed into their sexual release. However, if you find this is happening to you (you mentioned precum happening), I would be careful to not do this too often or not at all if you want the cleanest of reboots.

    I would not call it a relapse but I would say it's something that could hinder the rewiring of your brain. You want to stop all things that trigger sexual arousal unless it's one-on-one with another person the way us humans were naturally programmed enjoy sexual release on a high level.

    We're trying to undo "years" of hardcore highjacking of the brain caused by potent artificial stimulation for hours at a time. Our brains are pretty wried incorrectly at a certain point. You do not want to hinder the process at all of it healing, and it has A LOT of healing to do, to return to it's proper state.
     
  6. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    Thank you for your honesty! I agree with you. I don't feel it's a relapse but it has a potential in making that happen for future massages. You are right. I need to do the cleanest of the reboots.

    Now, let me ask you, brother. You are into your 70 days of no PMO! Impressive! What benefits have you seen so far?
     
    theforestkid45897 likes this.
  7. seekingabetterlife

    seekingabetterlife Fapstronaut

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    You're welcome!

    I promise to come back tomorrow and share my experience with you.

    It's late where I am.... I should be sleeping (another addiction of mine.... I "hate" sleeping on time) but up now because I procrastinate every night when it's time to sleep.

    I would like to give you a good answer and not something half-assed because I'm literally lying down typing away on my laptop instead of going to sleep. Freaking hate it. I have a major goal of going to bed at 10 PM but it never happens :|

    I'm gonna try to get some rest and share my experience with you later on.

    Stay strong man!!!
     
    theforestkid45897 likes this.
  8. Last time I got a massage was at a strip club. I was sitting at the stage and a girl was going around offering $20 massages. I got one and fell asleep right there at the stage with a naked girl dancing two feet from my face. I was kicked out, so I went to my car, put on a baseball cap and a hoodie and got back in. I then got another massage and fell asleep again! Omg I'm such a loser!!
     
  9. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Was this at one of those Chinese massage parlors?
     
  10. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    Yep! You guessed right!
     
    Runtilmylegsdropoff likes this.
  11. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Usually people go to those places primarily to get that 'happy ending'.
     
  12. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    She didn't do that happy ending. But let's just say she did cover all of my body. Naturally my body reacted.
     
  13. seekingabetterlife

    seekingabetterlife Fapstronaut

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    Ok so here are the benefits:

    1. A general sense of well being. There are times I feel down... It's mostly because I'm focusing on what I don't have. I focus on my various shortcomings and probs. But, I always have a peace of mind to hold onto. I'm always thinking.... "at least I'm doing well staying PMO free". So, it becomes an awesome safety net for whatever troubles you have going on in your life.

    2. I started taking on more risks than before. I actually started posting on Snapchat!! This might seem normal but trust me.... it's not. I would never ever use social media to broadcast myself like that. However, I made the big leap with using Snapchat fairly consistently. I felt confident when doing this. Like... who cares what happens??? I also felt worth of using the platform. When using PMO I devalue myself. I don't feel good about being "that guy" who just binged for hours trying to find the perfect picture/video or spent $xxx dollars on cam sessions. I'm also strongly considering taking yoga classes or something very soon. I feel much more fit to take them.

    3. This is certainly related to #2 because it shows I'm taking on more risk, but I wanted to give it a spot of it's own. I asked out a co-worker!!! This girl is very very attractive. I've been attracted to her for awhile now but never had the guts to ask her out. I finally asked her to go to the movies together. The thing is... when doing PMO, I would not wanna do this. I would always feel in back of my head not "clean and... suitable enough" while under the influence of PMO. I don't want to date an awesome girl knowing I'm still a victim to this addiction. Now, I'm willing to take the risk because I feel I'm doing well with staying away from porn. I also tried meeting up with a girl I met off of Tinder. I'm pushing the dating app scene a lot more since loosing the porn. I really though hope one of these girls go out with me soon. We'll see... The co-worker had plans for this weekend and I'm not sure if she's all that interested in going out to be honest by the way she responded to me. The lady I met on Tinder said she had friends visiting from out of town but thinks meeting up is something that we should do. This was weeks ago though... I'm going to follow up with her next week to see if she wants to meet up.

    4. Two of separate females commented (one around my sister and the other to my female friend) that I was very attractive and wanted to know why I'm not dating anyone right now. I think it's my personality that came as a result from taking away the PMO. I'm much more care-free amongst my peers. I feel good about myself and where I stand in life in regards to getting this addiction under control. So, it results in me being more social and happy around others. I'm not just saying this by the way because I "think" I feel more confident and happy around others. I really truly feel much better about myself and sometimes even think (while I'm amongst them hanging out) about how I'm doing so well saying away from PMO... Makes me very proud and want to socialize.

    5. This is something I noticed while on my previous streak. I feel I have better control over my PE. Now.... granted I haven't tested my PE problem with a lady. But, when M after staying PMO free for awhile... I notice I'm in more of a "normal" state. I don't have that instant urge to O like when I'm steadily PMO'ing. I truly hope saying PMO free cures my PE. It's something I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hate!! I mean... I hate not being able to enjoy sex without thinking about how you're going to finish too fast for the lady you're with to enjoy it.

    6. More than ever I feel I can truly love someone if I get serious with dating. With my ex, I was PMO'ing all the time. I think it took away from the desire I had for the relationship and her sexually. Think about it.... what if the only way you can experience sexual pleasure and O was with a female?? You would place much more value in the female you're with. Because she is the "only" way you can experience sexual pleasure, you enjoy the sex you have with her and become more connected with her emotionally/mentally. She's your source of love and sexual fulfillment at a deep level. When PMO'ing you do not value her as much. She's just another means for you to O. She's an interesting and great way to O but.... she's still not the only sexual release. It devalues what she can provide to you.

    7. My sexual desire has been more towards fantasizing about one-on-one contact with a lady and not with pixels on a screen. Lately, I've been thinking how awesome it would feel/be to have sex with someone. Even when I'm browsing through Tinder, I often would think how it would feel to have such an attractive girl to have sex with instead of getting worked up over how much porn would be fun/exciting to look at. I think this is my mind rewiring to a normalized state of being. We should be wired for one-on-one sex and not PMO.

    There may be other areas of benefit but these are the ones I can think of right now.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2017
    theforestkid45897 likes this.
  14. theforestkid45897

    theforestkid45897 Fapstronaut

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    #3, #6 and #7 hit home for me.

    Just started a relationship with a beautiful girl on the inside and out. So glad I read this this morning, especially when the temptation was creeping in a little. Many thanks!!
     
    seekingabetterlife likes this.

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