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Beware of the 30 day trap!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by no-one-is-immune, Aug 13, 2014.

  1. no-one-is-immune

    no-one-is-immune Fapstronaut

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    Hi Guys,

    It's embarrassing to post this, especially since I have encouraged so many people that they can do it. Well, as you can see by my counter, I needed to reset it.

    So, the first month was not as difficult as the post 30 days. In the beginning, I was way more aware of the problem, I was new to nofap, I read a lot and was able to keep control. After the 30 days, the discipline seems to slip a bit. I allowed myself to look at "soft" images. Just beautiful girls, some "harmless" youtube vids.

    Sigh, but one little seed planted, leads to a slightly bigger plant the next day. And very soon you are on a slippery slope.

    So, as a warning to my fellow guys, be very careful of these things. Especially after you have reached some or other goal. Do not "reward" yourself, no matter how mild you think it is or how strong you think you have become. As another poster said, "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance".

    • Looking at pics that are "soft"
    • Fantasizing
    • Even text that causes your fantasy life to kick in.
    • Sexual "education" articles - often found on news/magazine sites. There is no valid reason you need to know how to do "stuff" at this stage.
    • Boredom!
    • TV/Movies that contain triggering imagery

    So I start again, and I hope you dont have to.
     
  2. Goodmood

    Goodmood Fapstronaut

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    This is true.

    Last time I relapsed was 45 and 47 days in.

    I started to feel a little too confident after a while and I thought It's ok if I see a sexy pic or if a nude scene comes on in a movie.

    Now I'm around day 30, I do the no arousal method. NO AROUSAL AT ALL. Don't kid yourself.

    Don't look at pics. Don't think of sex. Don't look at girls on the street. Don't listen to pop songs with sexy lyrics. Don't do anything that might arouse you.

    Sometimes I automatically click on a youtube video because it has a sexy thumbnail. I immediatly ask myself "Why did I click on this video...is it because I want to listen to the song, or is it because there's a sexy girl on the thumbnail?" I will then shut down that video before it has time to load.

    Always be conscious of what's happening...when you start noticing the patterns and how your brain works it gets a lot easier. I had no urges so far in 30 days.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2014
  3. Misfit

    Misfit Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed after thirty days, twice actually.

    First time was after a date - my mind was razor sharp and chatting to this girl was no problem at all. Didn't sleep with her but there was a lot of teasing on her behalf. Came home, self-control was fine, but I couldn't sleep and kept thinking about sex. A quick wank to help me relax and game over! Plus, no more razor sharp mind!

    Thing is, as embarrassing as this is to admit, the next session and subsequent edging was so intense that my dick ended up swollen and sore for a few days afterwards.

    So, reset, start again - 30 days later and again no sleep - insomnia, what can I do to relax?

    Same result, intense edging followed by "fuck it". Several months later I'm trying again.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2014
  4. Goodmood

    Goodmood Fapstronaut

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    Same happened to me on day 47. Had a date...brought her at my place, couldn't get it up....so when she left I thought "fuck all this bullshit, I'm gonna bust a nut!"

    We need to learn how to handle negative emotions.

    Also..one thing about no arousal method...I had stopped coming on the forums for a while. But for the last 3 days..I've been coming back..checking out some posts etc....and I noticed that I'm starting to have porn and masturbation on my mind a little bit too much for my taste.

    So it's good to stop coming here once in a while to keep your mind off porn. I'm gonna stop coming for a little while...peace!!
     
  5. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    no-one-is-immune thx for the advisory.
     
  6. sanchy

    sanchy Fapstronaut

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    ...i've been giving this some thought recently. Is it possible that part of our problem can be an obsession with the obsession?
     
  7. Siddha

    Siddha New Fapstronaut

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    I hear yah. 33 days without P, however, hadn't decided to give up M until today. The past few days have been pretty bad and I've been close to relapsing so decided it was time to bite the bullet and give up PMO altogether.
     
  8. no-one-is-immune

    no-one-is-immune Fapstronaut

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    This really is essential. A lot of guys think they can separate M from porn, but I don't think this is realistic. They go together. You may be able to M a few times with no mental imagery, but eventually the fantasies and porn replays come back.

    Kinda like saying you will give up drugs by only smoking pot.

    Good luck and keep going!
     
  9. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Bro,
    Sorry to hear about your challenges and having to reset. Grateful for your advice and tips. I personally have added soft-core on my list on things to avoid. In fact I avoid them as much as hardcore P. That is why my second counter takes that into account. I have no goals for these soft-cores. They are a no go zone for life. Good luck
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2014
  10. manolo578

    manolo578 Fapstronaut

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    It's all about having the desire to stay porn free. I can never watch porn again, haven't watched it in a long time. Once you get to that stage where you haven't watched porn in a while, you can't really go back.
     
  11. Indeed, I made the same experience during the 2nd month.
    You are experienced and switch to "auto pilot", suddenly you slip.
     
  12. pasco

    pasco Fapstronaut

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    Its' awesome that people are so honest. It encourages everyone else I reckon. Really brute, manly honesty! Keep at it lads. We will crack through
     
  13. Honesty is the path to freedom !!
    If you lie or suppress the truth, then you always need to "calculate" and "concentrate" on what you tell to whom. That takes a lot of energy!
    If you just open up, then this burden falls away, and you can freely fly ;-)
     
  14. OldSoulNewSpirit

    OldSoulNewSpirit Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man. That's good advise. I was actually cruising the "Chive" app on my phone last night at four in the morning when I couldn't sleep. I even thought to myself, a little serotonin would be good for me as long as I don't fap. Luckily I didn't PMO, or anything, but your advise is good to hear.

    The Chive just got deleted off my phone.

    Cheer's man.
     
  15. pasco

    pasco Fapstronaut

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    So true, By the way I like your counter "flying free". Let us Fly!
     
  16. krazykhan786

    krazykhan786 Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you buddy, This No Arousal Rule is a priceless tip thank you. From last few days i am getting lot of hard erections results in blue balls and primary cause is :- chatting with girls which on the back of my mind i divert towards sexual chat..which gives me arousal.
    After 2 days i will complete my 1st nofap challenge on this forum...earlier my best was of 47 days last feb when i was not a member here...and didn't know such forum exists...as far as P goes i havent watched it since last 45-50 days...so P is not a problem for me..my main challenge is M...and I am on Hardmode..i am single...no gf...and my goal is semen retention to improve my life.
    Results are mind blowing...its like i have discovered a secret ninja inside me who can do anything. And on social front i am best. My confidence is skyrocketed.
     
  17. Thank you! I chose that counter because I wanted to focus on the POSITIVE SIDE, and not on the dark side of my soul. I can highly recommend this kind of attitude. By focussing and concentrating on the things WE REALLY WANT, the dark side of our souls automatically is kept beyond our horizon.

    Imagine there's a lot of weed growing somewhere, but one day, you see that an APPLE TREE begins to grow out of the weed. First it is small and fragile, and it can be broken easily, and the weed is taking the light and water; but give it its time and space: and after some years it will become a nice big tree with rich fruits. All the weed below will then mean nothing to the apple tree.
     
  18. True, i messed up my 10 days streak, just because of that stuff.
     
  19. Friday

    Friday Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I have just got to the 30 days point and I am feeling it a lot more now than I was before. I am just trying to remove it from my mind.
     
  20. GregoryH87

    GregoryH87 New Fapstronaut

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    What's crazy is how much more beautiful women become after not masturbating at looking at porn. I think its the way us men are naturally ment to be. I was just at the grocery store and came across a young 25 year old female with tsnned skin, dark hair , skin tight dress, and flowery perfume. It took the world for me not to look at her goods and just walk out of that store. Just go invest in a hobby my friend. I found that I get a near equal rush of excitement by getting new things for my hobbies. I walk around with a hard on 24\7 but I can sit in an empty house and not feel any shame the next day.
     

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