It is getting worse; this has escalated to dark matters. At this rate, the end is near.

Oh man, you need to cry out to the Living God and His Son Jesus Christ for mercy! Humble yourself at your time of need.

 

Hey man, I'll pray for you.

 

I wish you the best brother.

 

Hey bro am at the same situation as u ryt now bt am hoping we will get help,,

 

I've been in some really dark places as well. When things hit absolute rock bottom, I got rid of any access I had to porn. I got rid of my Internet connection, computer, TV, DVD player, etc. Anything which could have been used to access it was eliminated. I was in a bad place, and that was the only way I could recover. You've got to take the same approach. Whatever it takes. Nothing less will you get you out of where you are.

 

Like for me I normally use my phone to get access to porn but it has been a challenge getting over it since I find help here n I can't trust anyone with my dark secret

 

I mean I find it hard for me to tell a friend outside there coz sometimes I think it doesn't help

 

That's the lie we tell ourselves. If there's one thing I've learned in these years of struggle, it's that we can't get out of these places by ourselves. Once you get into heavy use, you're not going to use willpower to just stop. You need to get out and talk to people, you need to join SA groups, you need to find real-life accountability partners, you need to find online accountability partners, you need to set up regular meetings with a therapist who specializes in sex addiction, etc. I'm sure there are exceptions who can get out with nothing more than the power of their minds, but they are very far and few between. Keep your access to porn to an absolute minimum, and adopt the mentality that you're willing to do whatever it takes to stop.

Obviously, you don't need to tell people your absolute darkest secrets. Nevertheless, it's tremendously important to talk about your addiction with others. As most of us have learned, PMO thrives in secrecy, and it loses its hold the more we get involved with others who are going through the same struggle (or those who have the necessary insight to help).

 

Why do u live in paranoia about being tracked down? Nothing in life is that bad, u need to calm down and relax

 

A lot has happened in my life and I have had time and therapy to reflect on things that I went through.

I want you to know that whatever u have done you are still a good person you just became addicted to things and the obsession is hard to overcome

 

The problem is that through the escalation of porn use he has gone down the rabbit hole and like a lot of us things that we find detestable and unthinkable in a calm state become tantalizing and lose all willpower and becomes enslaved to what he is looking at on the screen.

The worst problem of all is that the basic help that sex and porn addicts can achieve through support and groups cannot be used because there is no safe outlet to heal by reaching out so people like him resort to drawing inward and never get that chance to get better

 

What about an SO?

 

I'll definitely be praying for you Ced. Like you mentioned "the more I try to stop, the more my addiction intensifies" so it's going to take a lot of effort to make considerable progress. Our brain overreacts because it doesn't want to lose the source of, temporary, pleasure and comfort.

 

For one, it would take more then "Honey, I watch porn" courage to admit that to anyone. He runs a huge risk of losing someone constantly in his life if they back away all for help that would come from someone who doesn't understand and unqualified to do so In that dark area

 

Well, that is a hugely individual thing, and depends on a number of factors. As mentioned, I do think it's incredibly important to tell others about our struggles, SO's included. However, it must be done with great care. As @Eviledging said, there's a very serious risk of running your SO off. From the tone of Ced's threads, I think he's gotten into some pretty dark stuff. I don't think I ever got to quite the level he did, but I did see some things I genuinely wish I never had. I've never mentioned these things to anyone, nor do I plan to.

Am I wrong in this? I might be, but I don't think so. I have told my wife about my struggles with PMO. I'm thankful I did, as she's been understanding and has offered support throughout the recovery process. If I have one regret about it however, it's that I shared too many specifics. In my case, I'd developed an infatuation with a particular actress. I basically had no interest in porn unless it featured her. My wife was deeply hurt, as I'd effectively fallen in love with another woman. Were I to go back and again share with her the problem, I would not mention this particular detail.

So I suppose this is my one piece of advice: If you're going to share with a partner, keep it as general as possible. Your partner will ask questions, so it's going to be very difficult to keep from sharing details. However, I would try to keep from offering too many specifics, especially during the period immediately after the partner becomes aware of the problem. The shock and hurt of knowing that one's partner has been indulging in PMO for an extended period will be enough. Learning the details of all the warped material the partner has accessed is enough to drive plenty of people away, never to return.

So while I'm convinced that recovery for heavy users is impossible (or at least, highly unlikely) without the support of others, I don't think it's necessary to share every detail of the material you've accessed. I would say that this is particularly true if the material in question is highly deviant/illegal. I think the severity of the problem can be conveyed without doing so.

With all that said, I'm just some guy on the Internet who's trying to stop looking at porn. I'm not at all qualified to be offering advice, and I might be entirely off base. This is definitely something I would seek the advice of a professional about, or at least the opinions of a variety of people.