married in L.A. tired of living a secret porn life

This forum is truly great.

I'm new in Los Angeles, in grad school, in what should be the time of my life, but I feel disconnected from reality, keeping real emotion at bay with a daily stream of porn and masturbation. I've been married for 3+ years to my beautiful wife, and we have a fairly healthy sex life. It would be much healthier, I believe, if I could cut out porn and masturbation.

I started masturbating at age 8 and found porn at age 12. I've struggled with addiction ever since. I managed a reboot around age 20. No porn for something like 6 months. But the reins gradually loosened from there.

I used Covenant Eyes with my dad as my Accountability Partner for years, but I didn't like that arrangement. I like my dad. We've become friends as I've grown up, and I didn't like him being privy to every move I made on the internet. I didn't want him constantly worrying about me. Not to mention it was easy for me as a Computer Science graduate to bypass the software. So I cut that off. I wanted to test my self control. And I found I have none. Or next to none.

No self-imposed filter or tracking software works for me because I can easily bypass it. Another device... reconfigured settings. I need to grow some self-control, and I need a place to talk about my struggles. I hope I've found that here. I think I have.

Cheers,
indiana