You're supposed to relapse!

Gotta love those day 1 talks.
Actions are needed not words

 

Hmm I sort of disagree. You are not supposed to relapse, it is a result of doing something wrong. People learn/ gain experience from what they should not have done, not from what they should have done.

I understand that you are not encouraging relapse, however if I was triggered, I would probably take this as a false reason to relapse. I would put it in an nsfw tag if I were you.

 

You don't think Thomas Edison would have preferred it to work the first time? The goal is not to relapse. In the end you are either strong enough to resist or not. Do not think for a second relapse is somehow beneficial, resisting the urge would have been better for your personal growth. Learn from your mistakes, but don't stare too hard at that silver lining.

 

I agree with all the previous comments, you're not supposed to relapse. You're supposed to improve yourself and stay strong.

 

I don't think the message behind the Thomas Edison story is to relapse. I think it's don't give up...

 

Yeah, you're not supposed to relapse.
I understand what you're saying, CasualMe, and yes, you can learn from a relapse, but its far better to resist. Resisting is the only way to rewire anyway.

It can be very easy to take this "learn from your relapses" logic and rationalize it into a regular reason to relapse, which could eliminate any progress made thus far.

Be careful with this mindset. If you relapse, analyze what happened, and don't do it again, or take the better option and resist before you relapse.

 

Give casualme a break, he's not encouraging relapse. We've all been on day 1 after a relapse and I think we can all agree that what you need at that time is a little pep talk on the value of persistence. If he needs Thomas Edison as an example of trial and error as inspiration for him to try again, then I think we should be supportive of that metaphor whether we agree with the semantics or not.

 

That's all well and good Yo3232, and of course you never want to berate someone who relapses, but we can't be too dismissive of them. Relapses are 99% bad, and yes we can draw lessons from that 1%. On the other hand, resisting is 100% good, so it's the better option. The day I stated taking relapse seriously was the day I STARTED succeeding.

 

Hey CasualMe95, I think you're right when you say that one can learn from a relapse... But I don't think that everybody does. In fact, it probably only put most of you in a sad mood, like "On I'm on day 0 again, I'm not strong enough to do it, I'll probably make it to Day 11 again and relapse again anyway..."

I'd suggest you to read this, it's incredibly good :
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0

 

I think I did actually learn from my relapses in a very simple way.

After the first time I installed K9
After that I blocked of Youtube and other triggering non-porn websites
After another relapse I thought the focus was the 'intentional' aspect, so just thinking about P was an excuse for a relapse at the very beginning

And after my last failure I tought that the idea that the urges will come is maybe dead wrong, Maybe if you do it right they won't because you can get satisfaction from other things in life, so I just try to keep busy, for the sake of movement.

Not saying you should relapse to know these things, not at all, but it made me more aware of where the danger starts. In conclusion I think i'm too weak to complete NoFap at the first try, or as Edison not genius enought to do it right the first time.

 

I'd prefer to learn from others mistakes (relapse).

 

..thanks for this. I will start taking relapses as SERIOUS as they are. In fact, any future relapse can be the one that leads to my doom. That's how serious they are.

 

I believe if you're trying you're hardest to resist the temptation of fapping and will power doesn't quite cut it, then a relapse can be beneficial. When I push myself to the brink before a relapse, I always learn something. That being said, I think relapses should hurt on a very deep psychological level because it shows that when push came to shove you couldn't accomplish your goal.

I think we need to remember that most of us on this forum are the minority. We actively choose to abstain from smut and quick carnal pleasure. And for that we should be commended. However, there's still work to be done!

 

You are not supposed to relapse. And if you are over 30 and you relapse then you have got to get a better grip on things because you are failing yourself.

If you are under 30 and you have being viewing porn since you was a child then a relapse is a sign that you have A LOT more work to do. You laid down neuro-pathways associated to fapping whilst your brain was growing and didn't develop much in other areas. This means your brain is wired for fapping and that is something you need to urgently fix. It is going to hurt. It is seriously going to hurt your head getting rid of this. And relapses are going to keep setting you back. But the more you move forward the better you will get. And you need to move forward, because if you don't deal with it then you have got this for life. It is not going to fade away or heal itself. This is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done. But one day will come when you don't relapse and you will be free of it.

 

Truer words have never been spoken!

 

Can't tell if sarcasm...