Friends

How many friends do you actually have? What's the difference between a friend and a casual acquiescence?

 

This survey makes me so sad.

Actually, I think of "friends" as people you can count on
and you're close to. People you can trust.
Just hanging out with somebody means nothing to me.

It's sad, though. If we put it this way, I guess we're all
in the same boat. True friends are so rare, no matter
how popular and wealthy one can be.

 

Not a single one in my case.

 

I have a couple friends, but I don't speak to them often since I've basically become a hermit.

 

Me too, none.

 

I have no friends at all. I live with a brother and mother and we have a good relationship. They also don't have friends. Has much time i don't know what is talking with real people with same interests or who just want someone to have a conversation.

 

I have only 2 friends..one of my friend i got was from NoFap itself @A ray of hope. I had many friends but i lost them due to my ego and obviously, my pmo addiction.

 

10+ easily. This doesn't mean I don't have social anxiety or something, I just force myself to be in uncomfortable situations every day, exposure therapy basically. Good things happen when you put yourself out there

My metric for friendship is if they'd let you stay the night at their place no questions asked, they're a friend

 

Well I would say I have maybe 2.

I use to have about 8 but they got married and/or moved away. I feel like I'm getting left behind. I don't really make friends easily since I usually get really nervous around people I've never met in a social situation. I actually have trouble trusting people and I think it goes back to my childhood, because back then I overheard two friends say they didn't like me and were pretending to be my friend. I think I haven't let it go because sometimes I wonder if my friends actually like me. Of course I know such thoughts are ridiculous because these two friends have been great but such thoughts are hard to shake. I think I'm better than I used to be but I still have room to grow. I think I should get back to reading How to Win Friends and Influence People and when I'm able to afford it I'll get therapy. But yes not having many friends can make me feel insecure. There's this dating website I sometimes look at and I see these women with photos with their friends and I feel that I'm not good enough because of my lack of friends. But really I shouldn't be looking on dating sites since I'm not wanting to date until I have rebooted.

 

The part where you talked about visiting a dating site really resonated with me. I occasionally use a dating site and every time I see a woman of interest, I fast forward to meeting her IRL. I think about what would happen if we started hanging out...at some point she will realize that I have no friends and talk to no one outside of family. It'll only be a matter of time before she's turned off and moves on. I then get frustrated with myself and log off without ever messaging anyone. I've decided that I need to focus on developing a few friendships before pursuing online dating. Maybe join meetup or something.

 

@Righthandman76 yeah it's good to have some friends before you date. I suppose I'm fortunate to have some good friends (despite not having a lot). I would say this though that women tend to make friends easier than men.

 

You can always tell her that you ended all bullshit and senseless friendships and you are building new life and looking more consciously at friendship.
This can also be your encouragement to break the ice and meet new people.