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Is this anxiety gonna go away?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ajmart96, Sep 24, 2017.

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  1. Sep 24, 2017 #1
    ajmart96

    ajmart96 New Fapstronaut

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    For years I have been masterbating to porn. Probably since I was 13 and I was masterbating a lot earlier but without porn. Over time after looking at regular porn I moved a to little bit deeper waters and started looking at rule 34 (just trying to be very honest in this thread, please don't think bad of me) and I enjoyed that a lot. Eventually I started looking at gay porn even though I'm not gay. Fast forward just a few weeks ago, I started to look at guys alittle differently. Immediately I thought it was because I was looking at so much gay porn that my brain thinks I'm turning bi. As soon as that happened I when though my files and deleted all the gay porn and kept the straight as I was still very attracted to girls. As soon as that happened, I started feeling really bad. I kept looking at guys even more than I did before. When this happened I started to feel weak in my arms, I had a lot of anxiety I couldn't eat solid foods as it would mess up my stomach and I could only eat yogurt. My heart would beat faster than normal (my normal heart rate is 73, it would increase to around 85). I couldn't workout anymore because my arms felt so weak. After that I started to google what was going on with me. Then I found NoFap and some other sites. They told me that I need to give up porn and masterbating entirely for several weeks in order for my brain to rewire itself. However I see other places that say I need to wean out porn instead of cutting it cold turkey. I am trying to do it cold turkey, but these withdrawals suck. I have since deleted all my porn and only have fapped 3 times in the last 2 weeks (normally I fapped twice a day). I still have the social anxiety that has plagued me. Now if I stay out of my head, I'll be fine. But if I fall into my thoughts again, not only do I find guys and girls attractive, I find EVERY SINGLE PERSON attractive now! And then the withdrawals take effect. I'm seeking a therapist to help with the situation but I just wanted to know if this is everyone feeling this way when they give up porn or if this is just me. Because I know there is nothing wrong with be gay in 2017, and I have no beef with anyone who is gay or bisexual, I just need to know if I'm okay and these things are normal or if I'm going to need to change my life forever.

    If anyone out there can help me, that would be most appropriated.

    Thanks,
    ajmart96
     
    ajmart96, Sep 24, 2017
    ajmart96, Sep 24, 2017
    #1
    NewManV and Ol' What's-His-Face like this.
  2. Sep 24, 2017 #2
    Ol' What's-His-Face

    Ol' What's-His-Face Fapstronaut

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    First, way to go cutting the porn down! I stayed off of porn for a few months before relapsing, so I can tell you something about quitting for that long:

    For me, the longer I stayed away from porn, the less attraction the specific stuff I'd gotten into held for me, and the more 'vanilla' my tastes became. They didn't disappear, but they lessened a lot. At the same time, I became more confident, less anxious, and just kind of happier, I think because my brain was re-adjusting to not having constant floods of good feelings.

    And yeah, withdrawals suck. Just constant stupid intrusive thoughts, and wild emotions. I've gotten those too. In my experience, the worst urges are around one week and three weeks. My urges grew over the first week, and then lessened, and then grew again for the next two weeks until they just disappeared altogether for a while, and I get super depressed for a week or two. Then I gradually came out of it and felt better than I had for years.

    I think cold turkey is the best way because you're going to have withdrawals either way, and every time you give in you're just prolonging them AND setting yourself up for worse urges over the next few days.

    Just take it one day at a time - one hour, or one minute if you have to. Maybe write down why you want to quit, and then refer back to it later when the urges are making you dumb.
     
    Ol' What's-His-Face, Sep 24, 2017
    Ol' What's-His-Face, Sep 24, 2017
    #2
    NewManV likes this.
  3. Sep 24, 2017 #3
    NewManV

    NewManV Fapstronaut

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    I can't comment on the "finding everyone attractive" part, I know rebooting/cold turkey/withdrawal does throw your brain out of whack. Perhaps try to focus on the "lowering anxiety" aspect, and try and remember you're going to go through an array of emotions/feelings.

    I do understand on the anxiety part of things. I am the poster child of worrying. Meditation helps, and I've been practicing positive thinking to remind myself of this tough time we're all doing to better ourselves. Hang in there.
     
    NewManV, Sep 24, 2017
    NewManV, Sep 24, 2017
    #3

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