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Relapsed last night... how much did I hurt my progress?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Acic1, Sep 27, 2017.

  1. Acic1

    Acic1 Fapstronaut

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    as the title states, I had a quick relapse last night on my 34th day.

    A little background information: I'm 24, have MOd 1-3x daily for ~10 years. I'm suffering from PIED. I was on day 34 yesterday, when I relapsed.

    During my recovery, I haven't noticed much change except starting on day 15, I'd get morning wood. I do not remember ever getting morning wood before. I get blue balls too. Other than that, not much change.

    Last night, a tinder match wanted to meet up and give me a BJ. I got nervous that my PIED would strike again, so I took a ED pill and when I got close, played with myself a tiny bit to get it up. It was up until she got on my car, at which point I lost my erection. (This my performance anxiety kicking in?) I just kicked her out of my car and went home.

    When I got home, I MOd. It literally took 20 seconds. I came a lot compared to what I did prior to NOFAP, but I noticed that my erection was significantly harder and longer than before.

    I still woke up this morning with morning wood and I feel great. I don't seem to have experienced loss of superpowers as others have.

    My question is.. how much did I set myself back? Surely it only being a ~30 second thing is good?

    Thank you.
     
  2. At least you didn't do it with P. Don't think you've done yourself any favours but no harm in long term either
     
  3. Acic1

    Acic1 Fapstronaut

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    I should add that I rarely watched porn. I think my issue is more MO related. Does this change your opinion?
     
  4. User047

    User047 Fapstronaut

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    That depends on what you do next.
    The main reason people abstain from masturbation (and orgasm in some cases) is because it triggers chaser effect and it makes this harder.

    Stay strong, do not repeat the deed and don't allow yourself to relapse with porn.
     
  5. Acic1

    Acic1 Fapstronaut

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    I'm definitely not doing it again. Though I've seen only minimal benefits, I've come far too far to screw this up. If I ever want a relationship, I need to solve this problem.

    Thank you for the encouragement.
     
    User047 likes this.
  6. If you say that your issue was with masterbating and not porn then I guess you should reset your badge. You did the thing that you're trying to abstain from for 90 days. I can't comment, only suggest. If you feel like it's not a relapse but still feel uncomfortable then try to make your reboot a 120 days goal (add those 30 days at the end).
    Good luck!! :)
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2017
  7. Acic1

    Acic1 Fapstronaut

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    I know I'm back at day 1. My 34 day counter is just a bit of a reminder how long I've been on this journey. Once I get back to double digits, I'll reset it so it's accurate. I just think that seeing day 1 or 6 may not be the most helpful in terms of motivation.

    I'm mainly just worried about how far back this has set me.
     
  8. Saad kazim

    Saad kazim New Fapstronaut

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    I am here to ask something from you, what things have you noticed in your 34 days journey?
     
  9. Acic1

    Acic1 Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, not too much.

    My emotions have definitely gotten wilder. A couple of days back, I was in the lowest spot I'd been in years... literally hours later, I was perfectly fine.

    I started getting (weak) morning wood around day 15.

    I feel as though my fave is clearer and my eyes brighter, but I think that I feel that because so many others claimed this is a benefit, so now I just think "yeah, it's doing the same for me." Same goes for being more outgoing & confident.

    I'm doing this because I have PIED. As I said, I started getting morning wood, which is encouraging. However, outside of that, I haven't noticed too much change down there. When I MOd last night, my erection was harder and 1/2" taller than it has been in the past.
     

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