I don't know what's wrong with me

My first thread in this forum!

Long story short, I like most of you am addicted to masturbation. Not porn specifically (although that in itself is another thread for another day). I just relapsed after a 4-month+ streak, and I noticed something wrong when I relapsed (and binged).

The first instance I PMO'ed the orgasm was fast and the ejaculation massive, but I wasn't able to have an erection, and I thought it was because I jacked off too fast. I tried slow the second time, but I couldn't seem to get aroused, so all throughout my binging session, I was jacking off fast each time until I could get an orgasm. None of the times I PMO'ed did I achieve an erection. Then I "tested my plumbing" three times (which I regretted and found incredibly pointless, as always), and tried to take it slow so I could achieve an erection. I did not achieve an erection in any one of those times.

Usually, when I relapse I binge, but most of the time I was able to achieve a full-on erection. Now I'm just worried. Before I relapsed I was able to get an erection from time to time, whether in a state of arousal or not. Weirdly enough, on the morning I relapsed I had morning wood, then it disappeared. Shortly later on I let myself get flirted with temptation (which was the reason why I relapsed) but all throughout the time I was letting myself be aroused I wasn't able to get an erection.

I don't know what's wrong with me. It could be PIED, but porn isn't the material I use often (it's mainly sex scenes in movies and TV shows, which is almost the same thing), and it's been so long since the last time I relapsed. I want to seek real life help but I'm too embarrassed to talk extensively about my masturbation addiction to a doctor who could possibly give me the opposite advice. I'm just worried about what this would do to my relationships in the future.

Thanks for reading and replying!

 

Well, like I said I was able to have an erection this morning. I don't know what happened really.

 

Maybe because it's been a while since I relapsed and I was doing furiously? I tried to avoid anything that would arouse me during the four months prior to relapsing