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Did I relapse..?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Freddy Max, Sep 30, 2017.

  1. Freddy Max

    Freddy Max Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday was an absolute killer for me, I generally find that Fridays are a particularly 'trigger-prone' time for me, that feeling of getting to the end of the week with no commitments ahead of me for a couple of days is just plain dangerous for me.

    I have noticed that since doing nofap (no pmo) that I am able to get a 'woodie' without little effort sometimes I wake up with morning wood, I have also read that some people have wet dreams after a couple of weeks of no pmo. So my head thinks aha, "would it be possible to increase my chances of having a night time emission?" That way I could release the tension and I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it because I wasn't in control.

    So I went to bed, by thought and a little touching I gave myself an stiffy in the hope that when I fell asleep I would have a wet dream but I was miles away from having an 'O'. Whilst I feel ok today, I don't feel shameful or have brain fog but deep down I know I have been playing with fire. My dopamine levels could have increased from my thoughts and actions thus feeding the monster. I don't want to do this sort of thing again, from now on its hard mode all the way. Does this constitute a relapse?
     
  2. Nighthigh

    Nighthigh Fapstronaut

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    It's OK!
    The problem with this kind of game is that sooner or later you will not be able to stop it. Better to avoid it but as long as you do not go up to O there is no problem.
     
  3. Wondering how many of these type of "aha" moments are down the pipeline for me too FM, I did find some humour in what you said, made me chuckle.
     
  4. Freddy Max

    Freddy Max Fapstronaut

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    Best of luck with your nofap expeience....
     
  5. Thank you Freddy, you too.

    When I don't PMO for 13 or so days, it doesn't take much at all to get me going. Hyper sensitised and horny as hell
     
  6. Freddy Max

    Freddy Max Fapstronaut

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    Had to reset my counter to 0 because I gave in to temptation and went from M to O this afternoon, don't feel too bad about it 13 days without anything is a first for me and I have found it to be beneficial and I still haven't viewed any porn. I have a plan in place for next weekend and I am sticking with SLAA too because I also find it helpful.
     
    new_beginnings likes this.
  7. Well done you for that awesome 13 days! And, for remaining positive, great stuff! A plan in place? Sounds good.

    On wards and up wards
     
  8. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    So if someone edges for two straight hours, but doesn't have an orgasm, you wouldn't consider that a relapse? Nonsense.

    If masturbation is in your inner circle (as SAA folks would say) or one of your bottom lines (as SLAA folks would say), then any masturbation constitutes a reset of your sobriety.
     
    db001 and new_beginnings like this.
  9. Dopamine release via physical stimulation.

    Superfan, you mean the above right?
     
  10. db001

    db001 Fapstronaut

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    I also consider edging a relapse. Whenever I have edged in the past, it has always led to a MO eventually - even if that is a day or so after the edging. Encouraging prolonged sexual thoughts and deliberate stimulation of the penis isn't going to free our minds of the compulsion to PMO. I've been down that path and I've justified it to myself in so many ways - but in the end I find avoiding it completely is the best approach.

    But well done Freddy Max on your 13 day streak. Start working your plan again and stay strong.
     
  11. Freddy Max

    Freddy Max Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the messages of support, making a fresh start today although I know I have some difficult times ahead.....
     
  12. db001

    db001 Fapstronaut

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    And we are here to help you if you need it. Well done on the fresh start.
     

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