How do you deal with narcicism?

Oh man, I can 100% relate to that. I don't know if there's a cure for it, but one thing I've realized is that self-centeredness usually goes hand in hand with you being stuck in your head. In conversation, one way to change that is to ask questions.

In my experience self-centeredness comes from a scarcity mindset. Because I don't feel there is enough [love, friendship, money...] in life for me, my subconscious switches its focus away from others, until I am hypothetically satisfied. Maybe it's just about loving and taking care about yourself enough that you can allow yourself to open up and give to others. How much you actually have should not really matter if you look at generous people around the world.

 

I think that really is a big part of it.

 

I'm not a psychologist but I'm pretty certain that if you are self aware of being a narcissist then you arent one, legitimate narcissism would mean you are incapable of even allowing the possibility of you being flawed to enter your mind, which obviously isnt the case here. Having said that being too inwardly focussed is a problem in and of itself, and like others above me have said can be countered by being more open and receptive to others. Its hard to find a balance between being too focussed on yourself and tiring yourself out worrying too much about others, but like with most things practice makes it easier, get out there and make the effort and you'll be amazed how quickly things can change.

 

^ I would agree with @AtomicTango, that the fact that you've noticed this and want to change it, says there's hope and that you aren't a 100% narcissist. It sounds more like a part of you does care about others, but you're very self-centred currently and so you're always thinking of yourself first and only thinking of others after you've already made mistakes and hurt/upset them. I was like this for a long time, and I think we're all like this at times, even the best of us.

One thing it may help you to realise is that self-centredness is not self-serving. The person who only tries to serve themselves, ends up worse off than the person who takes other peoples interests into account.

The self-centred person will have trouble socialising, because to make true friends/allies you need to be more concerned about what others want than what you want - so the self-centred person has few people to truly rely on.

The self-centred person will have difficulty attaining their dream job, because the lack of ability to put other peoples needs first will make them impossible to work with, and an employee that no-one wants.

The self-centred person will have less money, because money ultimately is accumulated by providing service to others, and unless you can truly see things from the point of view of others and take their needs into account, you can never provide a truly good service.

The self-centred person will have few if any relationships and they will all be short-lived, because a relationship doesn't work when one person doesn't take the other person's feelings and needs into account.

The self-centred person comes off as toxic and energy-draining to be around. The people you find on /r/niceguys/ or /r/incels/ and the like are all self-centred people, and there's a reason no woman wants to be within 10 feet of them, and no man wants to befriend them - because they ooze that vibe of toxicity that no-one wants a part of.

So, as I said, being self-centred, is not self-serving. So even if the only person you give a damn about is yourself, serving others will serve yourself greater than simply trying to serve yourself will. If you can understand this, and see that it serves you to build relationships with those around you and see things from other peoples points of view, then you can start acting more like someone who isn't self-centred. Once you start acting like that, you'll also start thinking like that, and you'll start to actually enjoy helping others and being good to those around you. Fake it until you make it.

 

narcissism stem from pmo .
Pmo gives you that feeling of a conquer , like a king who feels like a hot shot since hes getting the impossible happen to him every single day without much effort . This may give you a feeling of the smartest kid among your group ,at the same time feeling pathetic inside, but the narcissist overpowers that pathetic feeling until you topup with another pmo session and you make your conquest out of thin air

 

I hope you won't beat yourself up too much. Narcissism is an incredibly common character flaw. Here's a great article on how to overcome conversational narcissism. http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/...ation-how-to-avoid-conversational-narcissism/ I hope it helps.

 

In my experience, narcisim comes from fear. Fear is all about yourself and love is about caring about others. This two states are completely opposite. Since I let go some of my fears I became a more loving person and thus care about others a little more.

 

Maybe you have some narcissistic tendencies but it is a good thing in a sense. IF you weren't you'd be a complete pushover which isn't exactly healthy.

that being said, you might want to consider the approach of rational self-interest. Whereby your actions dictate more of win-win situations rather than "only i need to win" situations.

If you said something offence and you know it was, go and apologise.

If you need friends, it is in your self-interest to actually go and give someone a helping hand without expecting anything. Its selfish in a sense because you are using them to build up the muscle of giving without expecting an outcome. win-win. Rational self interest.

These are a few ideas. Feel free to quote me if you want to discuss this more.

 

From personal experience. Staying off social media is a way of dealing with narcissism.