Feeling blocked!

Hi giuys, it's been a while!

Almost 2 years ago I discovered my PIED, and I made insane progresses. In the last weeks I have been able to reach almost full control over myself. Cut off socials almost to zero, cut off internet almost to zero ( unless ipit is needed, like this time), cut off triggers almost to zero, and those I still encounter I am able to handle them very well. I have tried to build up my tools to socialize more and more. My mood is better, everything is going better and better, even though ups and downs are still a thing.

I am writing again here unexpectedly, especially for me, but I really would appreciate advices.

The only thing that has been a disaster up until now is my sexuality. Despite all these progresses I am still feeling almost completly asexual. I have tried to rewire, to kickstart my libido or sth, but it has been mostly useless. My libido is still fluctuating, and the only thing that resembles a libido now are fantasies, not real libido. And this is bothering me a lot. I have been able to get dates in this last year more than I had in my entire life, but unfortunately almost every time I dated a girl, I could barely feel a thing, and barely function. I am not simply talking about erections, but mentally really... I can realise these girls are beautiful to an extent, but I cannot feel anything for them, nothing kickstart, nor sexually nor romantically (at least most of the times). It is as if I am in endless flatline, my sexual brain is dead for good, and won't come back.

I don't know how to come out from this situation. I cannot rewire because I really have no desire to meet girls at all, and every time I try, I feel forced and would like to somewhere else, hanging out with friends. Today this led me to dump a date, and I am feeling really bad because of this. This is not what I am supposed to be.

Any advice is really appreciated

 

I feel the same way @Dgmili93 You are not the only one. The only thing different is that I still watch porn daily. Last night was scary because I tested if I can get an erection by fantasizing about having sex with girls and I couldn't get an erection. All of a sudden I started fantasizing about a guy giving me a bj and I got an erection! I hate this addiction so bad now. I'm traumatized! I don't want to be gay! The funny part is that I have been getting erections from girls since I was in middle school. I remember who I was attracted to even my middle school korean teacher got me horny with her fine ass. She had really beautiful eyes. This porn addiction fucks up the mind in so many ways.

 

Thanks for the advice dude, I will test that.

I don't know my T levels hinestly, I never had problems like these, I am 1.88 ms so I doubt I have significant T level at all. The best way to define it is a flaltine to me, especially mental.

I don't know I guess I just have to wait, not that I have any other choice.

 

I had that phase as well, sometimes still have, but no dude. Just stop relapsing and that feeling will fade away. It won't be easy nor quick, but it will, trust me about that.

I was a really severe addict, I guess we are just both in a flatline dude, and everybody just needs a different amount of time.