Why do I still miss my ex guy after 8 months?

I also still miss my ex gf, she left me also in January, but January 2016.

 

Engage in something productive, you like the most.
Or go on some trip, be childish, every thought will be washed away!
If you try not to miss him, you'll miss him badly! ;

 

Things happens. Nostalgic feeling towards our older life or older self become painful some times. But he failed to realize your worthyness. Don't waste your energy thinking about past. You deserve to live a beautiful life. You will soon find a partner who is worthy to have you. Keep believing. You already know that law of attraction works.
Stay happy..........

 

For me I've found that there isn't a set amount of time where I stop missing someone - I stop missing each ex girlfriend after I start interacting with new girls that I'm interested in. When I start developing those first hints of feelings - those initial butterflies in the stomach - for someone new, that's when my ex loses their hold over me. With my first relationship this took me such a long time because I actively avoided pursuing new girls and simply acted possessively and tried to "win back" my ex. However one day when I was out socialising, I met a girl that awakened in me that same excitement I had when I first met my ex, and as if by magic, all of those desires to get back with my ex vanished, just like that.

So since then with every relationship I've been in since, immediately after break up I've made it a goal to interact with other girls. If I interact with enough girls, I'll meet at least one or two that spark some initial feelings - and I'll move on very quickly from my ex.

It has worked 100% of the time.

So I suggest the same to you. Make an active effort to meet some new guys, and spend time with the ones that you are attracted to and who do make you feel good. You'll find that quickly in their company, you realise that your ex wasn't "the one" and that you can have those same feelings for numerous other people, and this'll allow you to move on. You don't actually have to start dating any of them - just spend some time with them and when those feelings start to awaken, your old feelings will start to wilt away like dead leaves.

It's the best way in my experience

 

I had a couple night stands, but i wasn't in relationship. Yes, we are ok, only reason for break up was distance, she went to Germany, 1500 kilometers from me. We congrats birthdays each other and it's almost all when it goes about talk. It was hard for both of us.

I just want to mention, you need time. First year i was totally broken, i was drunk almost every day. Now it's better, but i still sometimes miss her.

Same here. Now i think i am ready for new relationship, but i want to make full reboot (90 or 120 days, not sure yet how long i want to go with noFap) and then find nice girl and fall in love again.

Thank you for congrats. My score is not bad, but your score is unbelievable and really great.

 

I agree we're all different. Different things break relationships and people react differently. I remember it took me 3-6 months to get over my ex. I found listening to a lot of music help me get over it. For some reason I listen to Mat Kearney constantly (especially his Ships in the Night). It's strange I found myself drawn to his music since a number of his songs are about working out problems in a relationship. I also found working helped a lot. Back then I had a job in a warehouse and I had all these physical tasks to do, plus I started a mini part-time university course and I knew if I kept dwelling on my ex I would write bad assignments and fail the final assignment. I guess I kept so busy that I didn't have time to think about her.

Not sure about that. Dating now could be a train wreck for you. I had a thing going on with another girl about 3 or 4 month after my relationship ended and I consider that to be a mistake. I hadn't fully gotten over my ex and I was kind of looking to her to replace my ex. It was unfair on her and I basically wasted her time. If you're gonna date now don't date someone you want to be with for a long period of time, because you probably won't be with them for a long time if you still feel for your ex.

A great way to have a crappy relationship is to look to your SO as someone who can heal or complete you. Here's a brilliant article on relationships (it's brilliant because he interviewed 1,500 couples who have been together for 10+ years). In it he talks about how looking to someone to fix you ruins relationships.

I understand you may hate what I've just written in the paragraph above, because it would drive me nuts when I would hear people say you need to heal up before getting in a relationship, but I can't argue with those who have been interviewed for the article for they know what they're talking about.

IDK maybe seeing a counsellor will help. I see you're a Christian so maybe reading scripture will help such as Lamentations 3 or Psalm 34. Maybe reading positive affirmations every day will help. Or listening to music could help when you're thinking about your ex. I think Leona Lewis song Better in Time is one of the best break up songs.

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's going to hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too
It'll all get better in time

 

Yeah, there's certain songs that remind me of my ex. I find thoughts about about her come in waves. I find myself laughing or smiling over something that happened between us, or getting angry over how she treated me. When that happens I just need to except I'm thinking that and don't let it ruin my day. I guess for me there's more anger than sadness regarding the break up. When I have such feelings I need to remind myself I've forgiven her and let it go, but such thoughts only come to me occasionally. I think if I was with someone else I wouldn't have such thoughts, but I've decided to not date anyone until I'm completely rebooted.

Anyway @green lion eating the sun you sound like you're in a better place now. In my first post I planned share this article about getting through a break up but forgot. Here's the article. Maybe you don't need it now but maybe it'll be helpful.

 

No I dont think thats the reason. You cannot say that within 6months (or after sex or kiss) you should be cured. There is no time frame - you probably heard about that but it is a time to believe in that. For example ME - It took me long long long time to be out of the desperete feeling and sometimes still not healed. But when I compare how I felt 2 years ago and how I feel now - it is very much different. But not healed thou. It will come...I know it will.

As JesusGreen said - socialize, be with people, make mistakes, just always go forward and if you miss him sometimes, what can you do? Nothing. I kind of think that missing someone is part of forgeting someone. I remember when my break up was fresh, friend of mine told me that only time will heal it, I rememeber how I hated this quote, but thats true. Meanwhile you try to do your best, it will come to the best conclusion. Well at least thats what I believe in . Everything has its own reason.

Dont worry, you are not alone on this road. And you are doing good impoving yourself - we all do that, right?

Take care!

 

I would say there's two big reasons this has been hard for you to get past.

1. The breakup wasn't your choice
2. Lack of closure

I had a boyfriend once who dumped me completely out of the blue (at least it felt that way to me). I absolutely did not see it coming at all, and I was totally in love with him. The thing is, when it's not your choice to end the relationship, it's not like your feelings of love for that person just end because he said he doesn't want to be with you anymore.

That breakup was crazy hard on me, mostly because there wasn't much closure, being that I didn't quite understand why I was even being dumped. And also because it wasn't my choice, so my feelings for him hadn't changed at all. It was suddenly unrecipricated love, aftee months of having that love be fully reciprocated and getting used to that feeling.

Breakups can be so hard. Honestly, for me, that breakup was probably in the top 5 of worst experiences of my life, and I haven't exactly had a perfectly easy life. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself for still missing him, but it is important, for your sake, to move on.

One thing that helped me move on and have more hope (and Idk if this will help you, because you might have different beliefs) is knowing that God is good, and if I thought that relationship was so perfect for me, and it didn't work out, then I highly doubt the guy I end up with will be LESS good for me. It's only logical that if you end up eventually being with someone else, they're probably going to be even better, and your relationship will be even better, which may seem totally impossible. But that's something to look forward to.

Also, meeting other great men helped me move on. Not necessarily dating them, although I did date a couple people in between that guy and my husband. But even just meeting lots of good men and seeing how many amazing people are out there is really refreshing and gives a lot of hope. You might see men who have qualities that your ex didn't have, and that can open up a whole new realm of possibilities.

But even that doesn't necessarily fix the heartache of just missing that person. I would say I missed my ex for years, even after being with other people. I had moved on from the stage of still wanting to be with him, romantically, but I still missed him, as a friend. It's hard to devote so much to somebody and then have them just vanish, never to see them again. It's basically like dealing with the death of a loved one, honestly. Only in some cases it's even harder than that, because you know they're still out there, and that gives you the hope that maybe you'll be together again or be friends again someday. The door is kind of left open a crack, leaving you waiting for the gust of wind that will blow it open further. But in time, it gets easier. Time is really all that can heal a broken heart, I think. Which is frustrating to hear when you're in the middle of it, but it'll keep getting better.

 

Maybe you loved him. Maybe you are scared to meet someone new. Maybe you aren’t ready for a new partner at all and better being single. Lots of possibilities.

 

Yeah, you bet you would. But nothing is the same, thats the thing.

As he didnt have any strong reason to change he could be more or less same personality. Well thats what I have been saying to me about my exgf - it helps me a lot . Is he coming back or not, that really should bother you a lot. What helped me was the passion for something else - in my case it was guitar and my band. But as guy this can be different.

Well, I am not from Prague directly, but its not very far away. And yes, you are right it was the centre of alchemy that time, pretty cool . When you get here, let me know, it would be cool to meet.

Cheers

 

I also miss this girl I "dated" sometimes. Basically we were not in relationship but were in dating phase. We dated for quite a long time too. She decided I was not the one. Although we were not in relationship, it still hurts feeling that I was not good enough. I was also wondering why I have not completely gotten over her yet. What you said hit me in a good way. I guess it is true that you never truly move on 100% unless you meet the new person. I hope that new person of mine comes soon