Losing Interest in Life Itself

Honestly I didnt read your whole post just the begining and I allready have something to say."

Ive been a depressive my whole life if not bipolar 2. Regardless of my mental health situation I know that if your confident in your life and you feel like your contributing to society as a whole then you dont feel ashamed about masterbating, it comes naturally as an extension of self love. I will just say that depression is the opposite of that and especially what you describe as loss of interest, that term is called anhedonia. And yes its a symptom of depression. Obstaining from porn may or may not help your situation because I dont know how deep or long you have been depressed. But I do know that depression rewires your brain the same way that porn does.

And Ive used porn as a sort of feel good natural antidepressant. But theres no worse feeling after PMO or MO than that worthless bag of useless bones feeling and the guilt and regret when I ask myself "what the hell am I doing" And theres this impending doom and shame when I go to clean myself up. And I feel disgusted. Dont know if this helps at all I just felt like sharing.

 

I think at least for me that my interest comes from others believe it or not. When Im able to bond with others I become interested in what they are into. And even in my worst days of depression I am always interested in other people. I think you still have interest. WHY?

BECAUSE your interested in why your not interested..... GET IT?

 

at least your interested in why you feel this way. Thats a start but also a road block to being interested in the little and big things in this insane asylum we call life...

 

Things will never give your life purpose, happiness comes from within. Thing is, a lot of people go day to day too busy to think about what we're here for, why we exist. They fill their life with things to numb the pain, to get some satisfaction in life and think that everything's ok - it's so unnecessary. You are not some small spec in an ever expanding universe, some freak accident that contradicts the fundamentals of science. You are created by God, not only that, You are created in the image of Him. You are loved by an infinitely complex deity named Jesus. Instead of banishing this hell bound world, He came to us and offered Himself. Took the punishment of sin due to us and defeated death to form a relationship with you and let you make the choice if you want to accept that love.

Romans 10:9 if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God

Revelation 22:17: The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life.

Life is beautiful but without God it's meaningless.

 

Well for me I'm uninterested in many things right now. The things that interest me the most is truth and my further life. I'm not married yet, 20 years old, and I believe that I've hit the quarter-life crisis. I'm working at the moment, didn't go to college or university. Sometimes it hits me so that I don't even know what to do anymore. I don't want to study anymore, I'm just tired from school + psychological damages from it. The job I have right now is killing me (office, office chairs, quietness - can't talk too much with others, 4 hours of total driving from home to job and back).

I've noticed that the only things that really boost me up are when I help people. I can't even transfer the feeling in words. By helping I mean when the person actually needs help and asks or if you really see that the person needs help, and you go and help.

If you ask me - do I believe in God. Yes, I do. I trust God and His son's sacrifice for world's sin. I try to do my best, to fix my self and live the life according to God's law, because it's awesome. It brings happiness and goodness to the world. But just waiting here is not an option. God did create us to enjoy this life too. What comes in the world to come, is not what we should wait for our entire lives, wasting it.
But at the same time. As for meaning, it's easy to identify. What is the meaning of a cup? It's in the liquid that is poured into it. What is the meaning of a hammer? In the nail that it hits. As for the entire creation - what is its purpose? Well, it must be something that is not created, for it to have a purpose. If there is nothing uncreated, it means that creation doesn't have a purpose.

As for the reboot, I'm already on day 220, but I'm not rebooted. The last thing that has to be rebooted is my mind. But it's not as easy as many think. I think it takes more than one or two years to fully reboot, maybe, even more, can't tell right now.

 

Good to hear, brother. And much respect for 200 days - that's a huge accomplishment!
I'll pray that God gives your life direction. It's hard to know exactly what God's plans are for your life but you just have to continue to ask. Have you thought about being a missionary? Dedicating your life to the gospel for others to receive salvation?
You sound like the missionary type to me.
As for what our purpose is in life, it's to grow closer to God and spread the Word for salvation from this world corrupted of evil. It's learning to love in all essence. This life is so brief it's the only thing that makes sense. Good or evil, which do you choose?

 

Hey, man, I can relate, to a degree. Do I struggle with depression? Yes, I think I do. From what everyone says about it, and the feelings they experience, then yes, I get depressed. Pretty depressed. I-want-to-kill-myself kind of depressed. This depression can sap interest in a lot of things, even living with family, friends and growing passions. I'm a huge (literally huge, too) art guy: film, books, painting, theater, etc. Narrative, really. But there are days that none of that seems worth it and the world is just grey and drab - or seemingly AGAINST me, even, and I have to escape.

Porn functioned as an emptying mechanism, for me. When I went to it, and masturbated, I was a receptacle for my body's pleasure, and that was it. I was a hot blob of pure sensation reacting to a video that seemed dedicated to me, and only me. My mind hollowed. I was only motion and release. Then, after the ride was over, guilt and condemnation. But I kept on going back. It was a sweet kind of destruction. Losing myself, literally.

But life is so much richer than what our minds can sometimes misconstrue. Interest changes none of the potential that things hold for us. We lose interest, gain it back, reverse. They're still there, waiting. I mean, I get it - I'm about to graduate college and I'm still living with my parents. I have no job offers. No potential places of employment. My friends and peers are all abroad or getting good money. The world is busy and wealthy and I'm just sitting here struggling with a dark secret, but fighting. And yeah, things get dreary. Reality saps.

But we gotta keep moving. Shore's ahead, if not in sight. The storm is a passing thing, however despairing. Stay strong.

You ever wanna talk, I'll be here, too.

 

Ok, those things speaking to you are demons telling you that you're no good and are worthless. If you have Christ in you, you are worth everything that God's worth. Don't give them the time of day because they take pleasure in your misery. Focus on God's love and His Word and all will be well.
Deuteronomy 4:24 For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
As far as employment goes, just be trusting in God. He may be testing your faith but He always gives back 10 fold.
Matthew 6:26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

 

Hey man, about fueling interest in activities: just sign up for a few associations. Art, sport, political, charity, business... You need to actually engage in an activity to (re)gain interest in it. I was in an anhedonia state and forced myself to sign up for a few activities, and it's helping. Hasn't solved anxiety and loneliness but at least I haven't killed myself out of despair.