Is E=P?

I'll tell you a brief story, I caught my dad on these type of sites before. Instead of spending time with his wife, my step mom, he would sit at 12am - 1am on these sites, and checking out women on Fb. Coincidentally enough this was when they were having some of their hardest fights and I could sense 100% that not only was he beyond stressed but also sexually frustrated.

So I think that yea, erotica is porn, of a more intellectual persuasion.

 

Yes, I think that is out of bounds.

 

For me: YES. I was hooking up to a lot of erotic stories, reading them for hours while masturbating.

While I think that most of these stories were of very good quality in an artistic sense, the effect was basically the same like looking porn: I used these things to escape from reality.

 

Yes, erotic stories are pornography, which means: "writings, pictures, films, etc, designed to stimulate sexual excitement." http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/pornography

 

For me, i don't care if it's pointed as P or not.

I know now i did use it to get aroused, and once aroused I was out of control.
Same thing for tinder, okcupid, craiglists.

The problem is not what they are or how they work, or even the benefits you can get from them: the problem is who you are while you use those things. I was a dirty disgusting pervert trying to get a surrogate from the high i got from P. I was fapping very hard, just using my mind.

Syntomps? Losing time at work, looking at my mobile, getting tired, not sleeping.

What happened.
Last week i asked myself if tinder was doing bad to me. I looked for an answer here on the forum.
I read answers of all kind, but i was blind to the ones pointing at it as a dangerous thing.
Why was i blind? Because this things got me aroused and i lost control. I'm fully analyzing it only right now, once i deleted all means of connection to those sites, and got calm again, but most of all after i lost control to the point of doing something i will not describe here, but so nasty that made m understand all of this.

So after being reassured about tinder and similars, i went on and in a week i found myself completely crazy acting as a heavily addicted person, with the same dynamics as P: getting day by day more dirty and out of control.
I am, and i think, we are, severely addicted people.
We need to be careful.
We are on the edge of a razor and nothing is more dangerous than false innocent systems of arousal.
I installed a parental control software on my mobile and I just input a password i don't have at all.
I know that won't stop me.
Lets not think that skipping hundreds of female pictures or tinder, or reading E stories is innocent.
None of the people we really respect and like regularly do that, why should we?
Getting regular arousal out of E stories and using tinder in an obsessive way, is something dirty P addicts do.

Sorry id i needed to open up in such a straightforward way, but this thing got me down to the bottom in the weekend and I'm so relieved i saw a way out of it (but it's still all to prove) that i needed to share.

Bye

 

I would err on the side of caution with dating sites such as OkCupid and Tinder, but pornographic/erotica sites should be a definite no-no.

 

I would definitely say that erotica stories are out of bounds for us, and should count as a reset. The erotic stories are meant to get us aroused just as a porn site would.

 

I'd say they were out of bounds. I have, on several occassions, gone on erotica binges and that prompted me to MO with fantasies that I'm quite ashamed to admit right now.

I'd *definitely* stay away.

 

Woooah, you are pretty HARSH with yourself! Always remember it is YOU - a HUMAN BEING ! There is nothing wrong about you, and thinking like this makes the problem worse.

Make peace with yourself, buddy.

 

The general rule is, "If you have to ask, you probably know the answer."

Erotica is just virtually indistinguishable from pornography in that it is mental. Your mind supplies the imagery based off of what you're reading.

The danger of porn, erotica, and all of the other related stuff is that it detracts from, damages, and hinders a healthy sexuality by introducing poisonous fantasy. Even in small doses, this stuff can be quite harmful, causing grief, shame, and a drastically reduced productivity level. Sexuality is meant to engage another person, whether it's in conversation, physical contact, intimacy, or something related. It's not designed for personal gratification, which is, to me, what I consider to be a deal-breaker.

To me, what is truly harmful is anything sexually-oriented that is pursued alone and exclusively for personal gratification. That's a broad cut, and it's supposed to be. My pursuit of purity is not driven by what I can and cannot get away with, because as long as I'm pursuing lust, there's no way I'll ever be free of it, or obtain a pure lifestyle. My drive, instead, is, "How far away from lust can I get?" or "What can I do to bring me closer to that purity?"

Does that help?

 

This is great ;-)
And full agree with the rest. Actually, everything you use in order to arouse yourself instead of seeking normal healthy partnership is the wrong way.

On the right path, you feel connected and fulfilled, while on the wrong path, you feel disconnected and empty/lonely.