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Where was the turning point for you?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by We CAN Do This!, Oct 6, 2017.

  1. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    Note: this thread is targeted at those who managed to achieve 90+ days :)

    Okay, just wondering, at what point did you suddenly succeed?

    What did you change to finally get through to 90 days?

    I’ve only ever made 9 days and I feel like ive been going round in circles for a year now, what what was the turning point for you, and what allowed you to get an amazing streak all of a sudden? Where there any specific factors or changes that helped?
     
  2. Border_

    Border_ Fapstronaut

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    Man, this is the million dollar question. I've put together two very long streaks together in the past 7 years. And I still don't know the answer. I think most people I've talked to don't really have a eureka! moment. We keep trying and failing and learning a little bit more each time and eventually your will fortifies more and more against PMO.

    Kind of similar is the question, what makes a rock bottom moment or gets people willing to change? People can go through one horrific series of consequences to the next without hitting a turning point. Then it could be a small thing that breaks the last straw.

    In general I think increased spirituality/self-awareness and especially involvement in IRL communities against addiction are two of the major components of lasting change that make the difference for long-term success in serious addicts.
     
  3. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    Thanks very much for the input :)

    I’m yet to hit a eureka moment. Every time I think I’ve found a genuine reason to quit, I just relapse even if I remind myself of it. Like recently there’s this girl I like, and I want to start talking to her, and at the time it really made me want to quit the addiction so I can work up the confidence to speak to her, but then earlier today right before I relapsed, I reminded myself of her and why I want to quit but I’m the heat of the moment it made no difference. I just didn’t care.
     
  4. J4220

    J4220 Fapstronaut

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    I think I just finally released that porn was negatively impacting my life. I'm addicted and indulging just a little bit will trigger me to fully relapse. Now when I get strong urges I'm still able to rationalize that it's not worth the temporary pleasure porn brings and it's not the person I want to be anymore.
     
  5. There came the moment when I wanted to quit. But, that was before I understood I was, actually, addicted. So, being ignorant that the addiction even existed or was possible, I tried quitting. Like you two, I had a series of runs, sometimes days, sometimes weeks, maybe a month, and then relapse. Then, one day, I found the Wilson vid. Here it is:




    In 16 minutes and 29 seconds I discovered the how, what, why, and when of porn addition. I also came to realize I was addicted, and, also, that I did not have to be that way, for life. Before that point I had been playing with the addiction, not knowing that porn was not a toy, but was, rather, a button we push to get a dopamine high. Before the video I had a vague idea that I wanted to quit porn, but could not, quite, put it down, thus the relapses. After the video, I came to understand, it was not porn I was quitting, but the dopamine high it was giving me. For the first time I understood I had to quit the dopamine highs I was giving myself. I did not do the "hard 90", though I do recommend that for persons quitting the addiction, but, rather, I quit, as in avoided porn like the plague. I came to understand--and this is very important for a rebooter--dopamine is released in response to a whole lot of things that society does not consider porn. It, actually, released in response to the mere thought of sex, especially during the rebooting phase. I did not do the hard 90. When I quit porn, I accepted that quitting it would feel like dying, so I accepted in advance that I would have moments every day when I felt like I was dying. P addiction, actually porn induced dopamine addiction, is different than drug and alcohol addiction in a few ways. Two ways are: we cannot overdose from it, and the withdrawals cannot kill us. But, the withdrawals can be so severe we feel like we are dying, and it is a terrifying thought that we might feel that way, every day, for the rest of our lives. But I committed to feeling that, every day, for the rest of my life, if that is what it takes to quit the addiction. If you guys are relapsing that much, then you are making a few mistakes that I made before I made the great leap. First, you may not have committed to actually "quitting". If you are trying to control it, but keep it in your life, like a toy you can play with when you are bored, you will fail. Next, you cannot quit this addiction passively. I know that just not watching it sounds like a good strategy, but, you have to be more aggressive. You have to take charge of yourself when quitting. Then, there is the pain. What I am about to tell you is, perhaps, the most difficult, yet necessary, thing you have to do to quit the addiction. You have to make yourself want the pain. It does, eventually, go away, but during the reboot, it is going to feel like you are dying. You cannot run away from that feeling, you have to run toward. You have to embrace it. If you have read my thread, you know, you have to "learn to love withdrawals." Don't look for an easy way out. There is none. Embrace the pain. If you are not wiling to embrace the pain, to take it, you are not ready to quit.

     
    antycorpo likes this.
  6. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    This was pretty inspirational! I'd really like to say that video makes me want to just push through it all and become that person I long to be, but I know it's not that simple. I will get it one day, for sure. I 100% believe I'm capable of doing this, but I just can't seem to get a hold of the problem.

    I AM and addict, I DO want to quit, I DONT want to keep masturbating to porn, but as soon as the urges are at their peak, none of this seems to matter. It all just goes out my head in the heat of the moment, and no matter what I tell myself, porn seems like a good idea.

    I just need to get it into my head that it's not worth it right when I'm about to relapse, and then I'll be fine. But that's much easier said than done.

    I want these benefits, I want confidence, I want my anxiety to go, I want a girlfriend, I want to be a normal person again, and I just wish I realized how much I want all of this when the urges hit. I so, so want this but still haven;t managed to crack it just yet. But I will. I know I will.
     
  7. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut


    That's where you seem to be much better at this than me. In the heat of the urges, you can still stay level-headed. But me, I just loose all strength and dedication, and when the strong urges hit, nothing seems to matter half as much as it does when there are no urges.

    Words can't describe how much I want this, but I still can't find the strength to prioritize what I want from NoFap when I'm feeling urges.
     
  8. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    For me was day one. That day i decided to quit without any doubt and i did it!and i didn't even now nothing about all the thousands of video on youtube about nofap :)
     
    We CAN Do This! likes this.
  9. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    Had you already attempted NoFap? Did you make any changes on that day/after that day?
     
  10. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    that was my first real try:i tried like an year before but that i forgot about it fast...i had HUGE changes in my life :)
     
    We CAN Do This! likes this.
  11. We CAN Do This!

    We CAN Do This! Fapstronaut

    Must have been lucky. I've been trying hard for nearly a year now and still no luck :(
     

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