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100 freaking days... ONE HUNDRED FREAKING DAYS...

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by crawlingordie, Aug 27, 2014.

  1. crawlingordie

    crawlingordie Fapstronaut

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    ... and I am still depressed as fuck. Sorry guys, if you're looking for a success story here, I have to disappoint you. Oh my god, how much I'd love to write a success story about my NoFap journey. But the time has yet to come.
    I relapsed once. That was 100 days ago. Before that, I had a 14 days streak with all the benefits people describe. I felt invincible. On day 14 my thoughts changed from "I can achieve anything" to "I want to kill myself, if this feeling doesn't stop!". Withdrawal symptoms hit me like a truck and I relapsed as I was in panic. Anxiety, Depression, loss of libido (the list goes on) hit me all at once. 100 days of mental and emotional pain. Every cell of my body screams to stop that pain as soon as possible. I am going trough hell, I just can hope it gets better soon.
    But what I fear the most: What if it doesn't get better? What if this is my "new" life, what if I am supposed to live like that? Deeply depressed most of the time, unable to find much joy in life or things I loved to do?
    I do a lot of sports, I socialize (I have a lot of friends, family etc.), I do cold showers, I try everything but it doesn't seem to have much result. Good days are so rare. I've never had depression before in my life. Fuck, what have I done to my brain?
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2014
  2. CheshireCat2323

    CheshireCat2323 Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry to hear that this is the case. Do you still have cravings for PMO? Also, how is your diet? Along with exercise, I find taking flax seed oil or another form of omega 3 fatty acids to be very beneficial, along with pine tree pollen. Pine tree pollen is expensive, but I find it's helped tremendously with my mood and my athletic performance as well. You can pick some up at www.surthrival.com

    I really hope the best for you, I've heard accounts of some people taking as long as 120 days to reboot. How bad was your habit before you quit?
     
  3. crawlingordie

    crawlingordie Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy! I have no cravings for PMO since withdrawals kicked in (zero libido is one of them). I am eating normally and that is usually pretty healthy. I take 6mg zinc capsules, that is the only supplement I am taking right now.
    I was PMOing since I was around 13 or so, can't really tell. I usually PMOed 6-7 times per week. I am 22 now.

    I heared of some people rebooting for 1+ year. That scares the shit out of me... 3 months of emotional and mental pain and yet 9 to come? Holy crap...

    Thank you very much, my friend.
     
  4. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    sorry to hear that.

    i have very strong headaches - i think this is migraine. never had headaches like this.

    but whatever happens i want to fight against this addiction.

    you walked so far on this way. try to think positive even if it seems impossible.

    we have shredded our brains - i am sure this recovery needs much time and much patience.
     
  5. baffle34

    baffle34 Fapstronaut

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    It is ok to feel, but do not let the emotions control you. My advice, most ignore it, is to find the logic in feeling this particular emotion daily. It is like PMO, but instead you are replacing your addiction with depression to keep you down. Find the logic...why does this pain need to exist. Like I said most ignore this advice and just think I am talking to hear myself talk and those that try come back and say you cannot solve problems with thinking. That is simply not putting forth the effort and giving up prematurely.

    Bottom line do not fear your mind and delving deep in thought and looking at yourself and what limits your mind has. Finding and realizing that these are emotions and they are malleable is a remarkable step.
     
  6. sanchy

    sanchy Fapstronaut

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    Just remember that depressed or not, P and M addiction is hazardous and ultimately you are better off removing it from your life all together. However, certain emotions, or lack thereof, such as depression and anxiety are not necessarily going to be solved by removing P and M from your life.

    Depression is a problem that affects millions of people. You are not alone. It's a problem, one that you didn't necessarily do to yourself. As a matter of fact, blaming yourself for the feeling might lead to a vicious cycle that will result in more depression.

    The good news is that many more millions of people have found that depression CAN be defeated. The same treatments don't work for everybody, but there are many treatments available. First, continue trying to improve your life with goals (short term and long term) such as NoFAP, exercising, diet, doing nice things for others, cleaning your home, etc etc. If after improving your life the feeling remains, see a specialist. There are more treatments available. You don't have to live with it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2014
  7. JegErFransk

    JegErFransk Fapstronaut

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    Hei,

    Sorry to hear that fellow fapstronaut,

    First of all, watch this video (once again ?), especially after 11mins:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRehA9C0ajQ&list=UUxUD8G1jO8T-Ef2tuADCZOA

    I tend to think that it is part of the rebooting process, but don't worry, all these feelings will soon disappear!

    You can do it man! I which I didn't break my 140days streak, things ain't any better after a relapse...
     
  8. ADC

    ADC Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear about it too bro. But I think that... Maybe you expected too much of your NoFap challenge. Hey, NoFap just mean abstinence, nothing else. It's probably only a part of the things you have to improve in your case. Some people only have ED problems, but next to this their life is still cool, so they only have to stop PMO so that they can have good erections again.

    Some other people, like me, have a lot of things to improve... And being a PMO addict made my life even worse. Don't think that if you stop touching yourself for 100 days, which is nothing, your life will become perfect !
     
  9. youngmoney

    youngmoney Fapstronaut

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    Are you doing any drugs? Weed contributed to my anxiety/ depression, but after quitting i felt a lot better. now time to get this porn addiction taken care of #day 6
     

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